"Conviction" by Manolo Blahnik?

Tough to tell whether this is a shot of Lindsay Lohan doing a perp walk or an ad for fancy shoes in Vogue.



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Easy vs. hard

Easy: Being cool.
Hard: Being nice.

Easy: Having "something to say."
Hard: Working at your craft.

Easy: Trivia.
Hard: Wisdom.

Easy: Fashion.
Hard: Style.

Easy: Curating.
Hard: Inventing.

Easy: Cynical.
Hard: Romantic.

Easy: 0s and 1s.
Hard: Analog.

Easy: Autotune.
Hard: Billie Holliday.

Easy: Snap to grid.
Hard: Drawn by hand.

Easy: Exciting!
Hard: Interesting.

Easy: Breaking the rules.
Hard: Knowing how to do it right (and then choosing when to do it wrong).

Easy: Texting.
Hard: Talking.

Easy: Internet bandwidth.
Hard: Emotional bandwidth.

Easy: "I have a disorder."
Hard: "It's my fault."

Easy: The part that fits in.
Hard: The part that's like no one else.

Easy: Stream of consciousness.
Hard: Spending time on it.

Easy: Being anonymous.
Hard: Putting your name on it.

Easy: Clever.
Hard: Soulful.

Easy: Making people think.
Hard: Making 'em feel.

Easy: Talking about it.
Hard: Doing it.

Easy: Lists.
Hard: Life.

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The Bible vs. internet terms

A while back I talked about "nailed it" jokes. One to add to the list is Pat Dixon on the Bible:

The Bible is like those long disclaimers that you see on the Internet because nobody reads those either. You just scroll to the bottom and click, 'I agree.'


Reminded of it by Myq's podcast with Yannis and Ted Alexandro where they all commented on what a great joke it is.

Related: Pat Dixon on walking the line

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Reboot of the We're All Friends Here podcast, first one up: Donald Glover

We've rebooted the We're All Friends Here podcast. It's now on Cave Comedy Radio (with the help of Mr. Marcus Parks). We're digging into the archives, picking out the best interviews, and posting 'em again (this time with just one guest at a time). Plus our iTunes listings give ya full details now so it's easy to listen to the peoples ya want.

It's the comedy chat show with boundary issues! Join hosts Mark Normand and Matt Ruby as they bring New York City's best comedians onstage to open up about their personal lives, sex, drugs, religion, race and more.


Episode 1 features comic/actor/rapper Donald Glover. I hear you mumbling, "So what? I can watch him on Fallon." Well ya won't hear him like this. We discuss why Jews are neurotic, why black people have good teeth, why he doesn't do well with black girls, and how people with AIDS can be assholes. See, different! (And fyi, we were doing this all way before Maron had a podcast.)

If ya never got onboard the WAFH train, now's the time. Other episodes are posted there too and more on the way.

iTunes listen/subscribe.
Listen to WAFH with Donald Glover at Cave Comedy Radio.

If ya dig it, please leave a comment/rating at iTunes. Thanks.

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The three funniest "in theater" movies Judd Apatow's seen

This episode of Serious Jibber-Jabber is a great talk between Conan O’Brien and Judd Apatow. Apatow lists the three funniest "this film is destroying" movies he's ever seen in the theater: Airplane, Young Frankenstein, and There's Something About Mary.

He also talks about The Cable Guy and how this beatdown scene...



...created problems since the audience became scared of Jim Carrey's character and couldn't laugh at him afterwards – because they feared he might actually kill someone. According to Apatow, that's why the film plays better the second time you see it.

Which led me to think: It'd be great if there was a podcast/talkshow where film and tv directors talk about flaws in their work. Everyone's always hyping everything. Let's hear about what could have been done better or what went wrong.

Best man wedding speech from Mitchell and Webb



So good.

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Ken Burns on storytelling: "All story is manipulation"

Burns says a great story is one where 1+1=3. Sounds similar to the A-C thinking that makes good punchlines.

Ken Burns: On Story from Redglass Pictures on Vimeo.

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Rush Limbaugh and "speaks so well"

Silly Rush Limbaugh said Repubs should get more credit for minorities like Condi Rice, and mentions that she's "well-spoken."

But we're not getting the votes that Obama got last night because we have Condoleeza Rice – and she is a pinnacle of achievement, and intelligent, and well-spoken...


Matt Taibbi comments:

He again asks the "isn't it enough to have Condoleeza Rice" question, and here even supplies an answer – it should be enough, because, get this: she's not just black and a woman, she's WELL-SPOKEN! He actually plays the "well-spoken" card.


Cue Chris Rock's great bit on why saying someone "speaks so well" ain't much of a compliment.

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Patrice O'neal's (last?) interview



Jay Mohr and Patrice O'neal wrestle over integrity and getting paid. Pretty fascinating.

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Schtick or Treat (year 5) photos are up



Schtick or Treat photos are up! Great job, as always, by Mindy Tucker.

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We're All Friends Here has a new podcast home and a show on Sat night as part of The New York Comedy Festival

Saturday night show
Got a special blockbuster edition of our We're All Friends Here show (the talk show with boundary issues) coming up as part of The New York Comedy Festival. It's hosted by Mark Normand and yours truly and has this sweet lineup:

Kurt Metzger (Comedy Central)
Jeff Dye (MTV's Money From Strangers)
Myq Kaplan (Last Comic Standing)

We're All Friends Here
Saturday, November 10 - 8:00pm
The Creek and The Cave
10-93 Jackson Avenue in LIC
$10 - Advance tix are available here

The podcast gets a reboot
And big podcast news, we're rebooting the WAFH podcast on the Cave Comedy Radio Podcast Network.

We've dipped into the archive to bring back some of the best interviews. (We were doing this before WTF was a twinkle in Maron's mustache.) Each episode is just one guest so it's a faster listen and you can cherry pick your faves.

First one is the Donald Glover ep and we discuss AIDS, handicapped people, sex tips, Blacks, Asians, and Jews. We really covered it all! The others have more along those lines. Here's the first four episodes which are up now:

Donald Glover
On this, the first episode of We're All Friends Here on CCR: we travel all the way back to 2009 as Mark Normand and Matt Ruby ask comedy superstar Donald Glover about the most personal and embarrassing moments of his life before the man was famous. More episodes from the archives of famous peeps to come!

Ali Wong
On this WAFH: Ali Wong talks about being a dirty, dirty girl in as many different ways as she can.

Michael Che
On this WAFH: Michael Che sits down to talk about growing up the Lower East Side, how having older siblings shaped his sexual views, and bad vaginas.

Erik Bergstrom
On this WAFH: Erik Bergstrom talks about growing up above a porn store in Minnesota, the time he was dumped for a dude in a band called Angel Spit, and much more.


Listen/subscribe at iTunes or at Cave Comedy Radio.

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Schtick was a blast

Gotta be honest. We were worried that Sandy would kill Schtick or Treat's mojo. But the rescheduled version last night at Littlefield was a blast. Great pics from Mindy Tucker coming soon.

Partial lineup of what went down...

Adam Conover - John Mulaney
Adam Newman - Rob Schneider
Bill Stiteler - Seth Galifianakis
Chesley Calloway - Amy Schumer
Gonzalo Cordova - Tig Notaro
Greg Stone - Rodney Bane-gerfield
James Adomian - Louis CK
Jason Saenz - Joey Gladstone
Jay Welch - Redd Foxx
Jeff Wesselschmidt - Martin Lawrence
Jessica Watkins - Lily Tomlin
Jim Van Blaricum - Matt McCarthy
Joe List - Kenny Bannion
Joe Pera & Dan Licata - George Lopez & Pitbull
Josh Gondelman - Todd Barry
Kate Hendricks & Jamie Lee - Chelsea Handler & Kim Kardashian
Katie Hannigan - Ricky Gervais
Mara Herron - Dana Carvey
Mark Normand - Krusty
Matt Maragno & Charles Gould - Joe Rogan & Woody Allen
Matt Wayne - Tim Allen
Matt Ruby - Daniel Tosh
Michelle Wolf - Kathy Griffin
Myq Kaplan - Pete Holmes
Nick Vatterott - Darrel Bluett
Peter Moses - Jim Gaffigan
Reformed Whores - Flight of the Conchords
Robbie Collier - Norm MacDonald
Robert Dean - Mike Birbiglia
Sachi - Weird Al
Selena Coppock - Lisa Lampanelli
Tony Zaret - Steve Harvey
Travis Irvine - Bill Hicks
Zach Broussard - Katt Williams
Abbi Crutchfield - Wanda Sykes



And faux Birbigs (Robert Dean) had a video...

Seth Meyers, steroids, and global warming

Seth Meyers had a great segment on Fallon the other night (the one with no crowd). In it, he made a great analogy between global warming and the steroid era in baseball (at 1:55 in)...

None of the debates did they mention climate change. And I feel like every six months the worst thing that’s ever happend in the world happens weather-wise. And I feel like we’re going to look back on this time the way baseball fans in the 90s were like “No, nobody’s using steroids.” We are in the Steroid Era of storms and yet there are more people in Congress who probably think this is because, like, gays are marrying… Than the fact that the world is just dying.


Maybe that influenced Eric Pooley, senior vice president of the Environmental Defense Fund, who offered up a baseball analogy in this It's Global Warming, Stupid article.

We can’t say that steroids caused any one home run by Barry Bonds, but steroids sure helped him hit more and hit them farther. Now we have weather on steroids.




Btw, I kinda enjoyed the crowd-less late night shows. Felt more human and less AMPED UP!!!

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Schtick or Treat rescheduled to this Sunday!

This is a Schtick up(date)!

Sandy rained us out the first time but we're going for it on Sunday at 8pm at Littlefield.

Showtime: 8:00PM (Doors: 7:30PM)
Littlefield
622 Degraw St (between 3rd and 4th Ave) in Park Slope, Brooklyn
Tickets: $8 advance/$10 at door
Advance tix are available here.
Facebook event