Hey. I’m Matt Ruby and this is Sandpaper Suit, my comedy blog. About me: I'm a standup comic in NYC. I host two shows: "Flying Carpet," a monthly show at Rififi, and "We're All Friends Here," a monthly standup/talkshow combo at The Creek and The Cave (also available as a podcast). Check my MySpace page to see all my upcoming gigs. What's here: At this blog, I post 1) funny stuff — jokes, videos, etc. and 2) not funny stuff about the art of standup. More:Mruby.com tells you everything else about Matt Ruby that you ever wanted to know but were afraid to ask. Email:matt@mruby.com.
Below, check out the new video trailer and podcast from the second "We're All Friends Here" show. Featuring Ben Kissell, Mike Drucker, Cassidy Henehan, and Becky Ciletti (show was on 6/13/08). Topics covered: Goth girls, albinos, marrying young, gay dreams, Ken Griffey Jr., lesbians, sex with bananas, etc.
There's a tomato salmonella scare. But what if Sal Monella was actually just some guy from the Bronx? (A rainy day, 3 hours, and a bunch of cherry tomatoes led to this.)
A fight breaks out during my standup set at the final edition of "The Kissing Booth." Featuring Rob Gorden, Anthony Devito, Brandy Barber, Sara Jo Allocco, Katina Corrao, and myself.
Notes: My nose scratch was the cue to set it off. I kept saying "Colicchio" because it was the safe word in a Top Chef joke I told earlier. I wasn't crazy about the teabagging part but hey, all's fair in love and fake brawls.
Video of the debut edition of "We're All Friends Here," the new monthly standup/talkshow combo I'm cohosting with Mark Normand. This show featured Sean Patton, Baron Vaughn, Tom McCaffrey, and Brent Sullivan. It was filthy and a lot of fun. Lots of good stuff in the interviews too so maybe we'll do the whole thing as a podcast.
The next one is Friday, June 13 (8pm) at The Creek and The Cave and will feature Rob Cantrell, Becky Ciletti, and more.
No one is more underground than DJ Underground. Produced by Brad Steuernagel and Jay Bois (thanks guys!). Music by Ruby Lament. (That's my music project. You can download our new album for free at that link if ya want. Warning: It's not funny.)
Live set at La Nuit Theater in NOLA on April 3, 2008. Part of New Orleans Comedy and Arts Fest. Crowd was small but we had fun.
Random notes on the set: I threw in a beads reference to my butterfly joke and cracked that I customized the joke for New Orleans. That got an applause break which I found pretty surpising.
"The light" was the dimming of the stage lights which was weird. That's the point where I say that I feel like I'm supposed to get more emotionally intense.
Also, I started with a 9/11 joke and ended with a 9/11 reference too. When I got offstage, the sound guy told me that my entire set lasted 9 minutes and 11 seconds. Weird.
I decided to have some animation fun with my Jerry Orbach bit. Audio from live set at Lincoln Lodge in Chicago a few months back. Listen to the whole set if ya like.
I brought DJ Underground, my audiophile character, to the Kingdom of Heaven show at The Creek and The Cave last week. Just filmed another video starring DJ Underground so look for that soon too.
About 2:50 in I blurted out "Tony Danza" when I meant to say "Elton John." Note my technique for recovering when I say the wrong thing: Repeat it until it seems like you meant to say it.
Screened this at the last Flying Carpet: James Lipton mock interviews Wanda Sykes on "Inside the Actor's Studio." Kudos to Matt Lament for his animation work. Matt and I are also in a band together: Ruby Lament.
The Charlie Rose site includes videos of his interviews with comedians like Jerry Seinfeld, Chris Rock, Dave Chappelle, Steve Martin, Don Rickles, and lots more.
The bad news: The site doesn't organize them in a way you can find them all easily. (Some are under the keyword "comic," others "comedian," others "standup," etc.)
So I dug through the site's archives and grabbed all of Charlie's comedian interviews. I'm posting them here so ya can find all of them in a single place.
Some notes: The list goes in alphabetical order by last name and the descriptions given are from CharlieRose.com. For some of the clips you'll need to fast forward to get to the comedian interview. (That's why Bernic Mac looks a lot like George Bush in the still shown below.) To skip ahead or to get full size versions, click through the links.
On to the clips...
Dave Chapelle (04/28/2004) A conversation with sketch comedian Dave Chapelle about his hit television comedy show on Comedy Central, which uses humor to examine race relations in the U.S.
Stephen Colbert (12/08/2006) A conversation with comedian Stephen Colbert, host of "The Colbert Report" about his life and career, the rise of television punditry and his successful partnership with Jon Stewart on "The Daily Show" and "The Colbert Report".
Larry David (05/13/1998) A conversation with Larry David, co-creator of "Seinfeld", about the behind-the-scenes stories of the show's end.
Janeane Garofalo (10/10/1997) A conversation with comedian Janeane Garofalo about her standup comedy on "HBO Comedy Hour", her film "The Matchmaker" and her role on "The Larry Sanders Show".
Ricky Gervais (10/21/2004) A conversation with British comedian Ricky Gervais about his hit BBC sitcom "The Office".
Bernie Mac (05/23/2002) A conversation with comedian Bernie Mac about his starring role in "The Bernie Mac Show", his roles in films such as "The Kings of Comedy" and his book “I Ain't Scared of You: Bernie Mac on How Life Is”, an autobiography.
Bill Maher (05/04/2007) A conversation with Bill Maher, comedian and host of Real Time with Bill Maher.
Bill Maher (11/20/2002) Comedian Bill Maher, former host of the ABC television show "Politically Incorrect", talks about his new book, "When You Ride Alone, You Ride with Bin Laden: What the Government Should Be Telling Us to Help Fight the War on Terrorism".
Bill Maher (07/31/2001) A conversation with TV host Bill Maher of "Politically Incorrect" about his show, which blends a late-night talk show format with a Sunday morning news program. He discusses his comedic approach to politics, the controversy surrounding some of his remarks and his plans for upcoming segments of the show.
Bill Maher (04/04/1996) A conversation with comedian Bill Maher, host of "Politically Incorrect", which brings together unlikely guests to discuss current events. Maher discusses his experiences creating and hosting the show and offers his take on the news of the day.
Steve Martin (01/25/2008) A conversation with actor and comedian Steve Martin about his career, his life and his memoir: "Born Standing Up: A Comic's Life."
Steve Martin (09/29/1998) A conversation with actor Steve Martin about his book of humorous essays from "The New Yorker", collected in "Pure Drivel".
An interview with Steve Martin (10/04/1996) An interview with actor, comedian and writer Steve Martin, whose career began in the seventies with appearances on "The Tonight Show" and "Saturday Night Live" and then transitioned into film with movies such as "The Jerk" and "All of Me".
Lorne Michaels (09/26/1997) A conversation with the creator and producer of "Saturday Night Live" Lorne Michaels about launching the upcoming season, his career in television and comedy and his life growing up in Canada.
Bob Newhart (10/10/1994) Actor Bob Newhart talks about his career in Hollywood and return to stand-up comedy.
Conan O'Brien (08/24/2006) An hour conversation with the host of NBC's "Late Night", Conan O'Brien about hosting the 2006 Emmys and his experiences as a writer and actor straight out of Harvard. He talks about his succession as host of the "Tonight Show" in 2009 and the development of his comedy.
Paul Reiser (05/15/1996) A conversation with comedian Paul Reiser, the creator and star of the hit NBC sitcom "Mad About You".
Don Rickles (08/30/2007) An hour with Don Rickles. Rickles discusses his career and new memoir Rickle's Book.
Chris Rock (03/16/2007) A conversation with actor and director Chris Rock about his comedic influences, his directorial process, and his film "I Think I Love My Wife", which provides a humorous take on the state of modern marriage.
Chris Rock (04/12/2004) A conversation with actor and comedian Chris Rock about his popular stand-up routines and his comedic album "Never Scared".
Chris Rock (09/09/1996) Comedian and actor Chris Rock talks about his career in comedy and serving as the sole presidential campaign correspondent for "Comedy Central's Politically Incorrect".
Ray Romano (09/29/2000) Actor and stand-up comedian Ray Romano talks about his hit sitcom "Everybody Loves Raymond", which draws from his own family life and middle class upbringing.
Garry Shandling (02/29/2000) Actor Garry Shandling, best known from his critically acclaimed television show "The Larry Sanders Show", talks about writing and starring in the film "What Planet Are You From?"
Garry Shandling (11/16/1998) An hour conversation with comedian Garry Shandling about his role in "The Larry Sanders Show", his film "Hurlyburly" and his book "Confessions of a Late Night Talk Show Host: The Autobiography of Larry Sanders".
David Steinberg (06/22/2007) A conversation with author and comedian David Steinberg about his book "The Book of David".
Jon Stewart (09/29/2004) A conversation with Jon Stewart, Emmy Award-winning writer and host of "The Daily Show" on Comedy Central, about his book "America the Book: A Citizen's Guide to Democracy Inaction".
Jon Stewart (05/21/2003) A conversation with the host of "The Daily Show" Jon Stewart about the difficulties of tastefully and comically covering the war in Iraq.
Jon Stewart (08/09/2002) A conversation with comedian Jon Stewart, host of Comedy Central's "The Daily Show", about the current events that inspire the show and the incorporation of humor into serious subject material.
Jon Stewart (08/15/2001) An hour conversation with Jon Stewart, the host of Comedy Central's "The Daily Show", about his career as a comedian and broadcaster, his Peabody Award for the show’s coverage of the 2000 Presidential elections and the role of comedy in politics.
Robin Williams (12/10/2002) An interview with comedian and actor Robin Williams about his stand-up comedy tour, recent film roles in "One Hour Photo" and "Insomnia", and his travels to the Middle East.
Robin Williams (04/20/2000) In a lively conversation-cum-comedy routine, actor and comedian Robin Williams talks about his life, career, politics, and other the work of other comedians.
You can find a few more comedy-related interviews with actors like Will Ferrell, hosts like David Letterman or Jay Leno (fyi, Conan made the above list because he's still actually funny), and writers like Tina Fey at CharlieRose.com.
Lately, I've been having fun dealing with people who behave badly at my shows. Not really hecklers, more like loud talkers or sloppy exiters. But the other week, I had a new situation. The backstory: I did a set at a variety show. Before me there was a band. After the band got off, they hung out in the back of the room by the bar. While I performed my set, one of 'em kept noodling away on his saxophone. I yelled at him to stop playing saxophone. He got indignant about the fact that it was a clarinet, not a saxophone. I thought he was a cockmouth. So I told him so. Here's a link to the audio.
I've created a Vimeo channel for my video clips. Check it out. If you haven't been to Vimeo before, it's got lots of cool homemade clips (example) and less douchebaggy comments than YouTube.
There are voices in my head and they keep telling me one thing: "Kill Moby." Featuring Jean-Claude Van Damme, Indians, Beyoncé, a monster truck, Justin Timberlake, chainsaws, and more.
Moby was whisked to a New York City hospital on Tuesday (January 2) for treatment for a cat bite sustained on New Year's Day. Moby was walking around Chinatown when a nice gesture on the techno rocker's part went awry.
"I was walking around Chinatown (as I'm wont to do...is it 'want' or 'wont'? My Chaucerian English is pretty crappy) and I stopped to pet a street cat (as I'm wont to do) and the street cat attacked me (as they're wont to do) and it bit my hand very deeply (as they're wont to do. Ok, I'll stop now)," wrote Moby on his website.
He added, "Throughout the day my hand got more and more infected and swollen and sore. But I, being relatively stoic, just went about my business, assuming that my relative youth and relative health would prevent me from getting rabies or whatever diseases were floating around in this cat's mouth. But no. I went to sleep with a sore hand, only to be awoken at some ungodly hour (9 a.m.) with tons of pain and the inability to move my fingers."
"So, being of sound mind and body, I went to my local emergency room where I was rushed into the 'urgent care' ward and given a tetanus shot and some mega-dose of antibiotics. The doctors told me that cat bites are extremely serious (especially when delivered by the foul-mouthed denizens of dumpsters in Chinatown) and they reprimanded me for not coming in right after it happened."
Fuck. I totally thought petting cats in Chinatown was a good idea. There go my weekend plans.
Venue: Comedy Village Date: 7/9/07 Length: 8 minutes Crowd: 25 people
Here's an odd compliment to get: "Never be yourself again." But that's what someone said after my Simon Beauregard's last set (Simon is the #1 standup comic in all of France who really hates Americans). The set ended with a standing ovation and really positive feedback:
"That was genius." "I couldn't control myself." "Not a note was off." "I would drink your piss right now." (er, thanks but...)
About Simon: He likes to do crowdwork but can't talk to Americans because they are beneath him. So he just rails against American culture. He's very popular in France but has not been able to visit the U.S. due to an incident with a young girl in a hot tub years ago. He loves fine food, jazz music, and young girls. He hates American culture and Gerard Depardieu. He's sort of a cross between Serge Gainsbourg and Bill Hicks.
Simon has "appeared" three times now and it's weird how well it works. It's almost as if being a character allows him to be himself more. Acting like a snob who hates Americans and their culture isn't much of a stretch for him. In fact, it was the basis of lots of his jokes anyway. So he just gets in flow and go with it. He can fake the accent pretty well considering he's not really French.
Simon's really fucking mean. But the exaggerated nature of the character/accent soften the hostility. It's all a joke...but at the same time everything he says is kinda true too.
Plus, French accents are just funny (see Peter Sellers' Inspector Clouseau or Sacha Baron Cohen's Jean Girard). In truth, Simon is mocking the French just as much as Americans.
Here's the first appearance of Simon, at Faceboyz' open mic at Mo Pitkin's:
Patton Oswalt cited this Bill Burr tirade as "operatic." It's pretty much a roast of the entire city of Philadelphia.
Part 1 (Video starts at 2:30 in)
Part 2
The story:
In 2006, he gained notoriety for an incident in Philadelphia as a part of Opie and Anthony's Traveling Virus Comedy Tour. After the crowd began to boo him mercilessly, Burr decided to fight back. He abandoned his scripted material entirely, proceeding to hurl profanity-laced insult after insult toward the crowd themselves and the city of Philadelphia. He continued in this off-the-cuff manner for over ten minutes, and was treated to a lengthy standing ovation as he left the stage.
I've been referencing this Conan bit for years and no one ever knows what the fuck I'm talking about. But now, thanks to the magic of YouTube...blah blah. Love the last scene here especially.
Venue: Comedy Village Date: 5/21/07 Length: 9 minutes Crowd: 25 people
Brought back some of the religion talk I was doing a few months back (at the end of this video). Trying to stretch it into a longer bit. A lot of my jokes are in/out affairs. If I can string more together on the same topic I think it'd help my flow.
Venue: Mo Pitkin's Date: 5/10/07 Length: 7 minutes Crowd: 35 people
"Flying Carpet" went well despite some on-the-fly shuffling of the lineup. The final bill included: dark host Greg Barris, bearded Texan Aaron Baker, insightful Greg Johnson, Naked Trampoline Hamlet director Andres Dubouchet, deep-voiced Dan Soder, yours truly, and phonebook-reading Kristen Schaal.
Why all the shuffling? Comics started dropping off the bill like flies. (Hmm: Do flies actually drop a lot? Can't they, you know, fly? Anyway...) There was a hot shot meeting in LA, a case of pneumonia. a host stuck in an airport in Texas, and a work-related MIA. Now I see why people who put together shows always seem so stressed out.
Anyway, all's well that end's well. People dug it. Not a big laugh kinda group but they paid attention and played along with diverse lineup. Mo Pitkin's was happy and looks like we'll do it again sometime. Details on that soon.
Here's my set:
Aaron commented to me that my set took a turn for the better once I dropped the one liners and went to more conversational tone/jokes. Dan, on the other hand, has told me before that he thinks the one liners are my "wheelhouse" and mentioned to Aaron he's seen me kill with them. Always interesting to get conflicting advice like that. I think it all depends on the audience. Some crowds love the one-liners while other times they can def fall flat. I like to start off with a bunch of 'em just to set the tone, get a rhythm of punches going, and get a read on a crowd.
Comic Jim Jeffries gets punched in the face by an audience member. When he returns to the stage, he says, "What many of you don't know is that I employ that bloke for when gigs are going badly."
Joe Rogan goes ballistic on a mouthy audience member. "I'm not your boyfriend, I don't need to listen to your stupid shit."
Jamie Kennedy mocks someone who tells him to use the word "server" instead of "waitress."
Venue: Stand Up NY Date: 4/23/07 Length: 6 minutes Crowd: 11 people
Here's a look at the, ahem, glamorous world of standup. This is what it's like to do a set in front of the remaining 11 people who have sat through 3 hours of comedy on a Monday night. By then, they looked like extras from a scene in "Children of Men."
Venue: Stand Up NY Date: 4/02/07 Length: 6 minutes Crowd: 40 people
One of my best recent sets. Great crowd, totally into it from the beginning. Laughed heartily at "Keep it going for the phrase keep it going." I knew it was on.
Listening back, what's interesting to me here is the extra tags I threw on to jokes. "I'm generous like that...I need a more informative cum swallowing site...Don't test me...'Cuz they're both just so fucking authentic...etc." That's the kind of shit that just pops into your head when you're in flow. Right brain to the rescue.
And that's why writing will only take you so far. Being up there, in that moment, is when some of the best lines come. Or at least ones that are present and immediate and feel like part of a conversation. People respond to that.
That's why taping sets is so helpful too. These lines would be lost otherwise. Having them recorded gives them a chance to live again and maybe get added to those jokes full-time.
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