I'm a hollywood screenwriter but I live in new york. People ask me why. I say it's so I can keep it real, grounded. So that I can have non-hollywood friends, you know regular guys, working guys. But it gets tricky, because each world has different customs. See, half the people, the Hollywood people, you kiss hello, the other half, the regular guys, you give a hearty handshake. Now, if I just offer a hand to some hollywood guy who expects a kiss by accident, he's gonna think he offended me somehow. But if I try to kiss one of the regular guys, he's gonna give me a bloody nose. If the hollywood folks see I have a bloody nose they're gonna organize an intervention, try and throw me in rehab for cocaine addiction. If one of the new york guys sees I have a bloody nose, he's gonna ask me who the fuck did it and tell me we need to go take a bite out of that guy's ass. If I then tell one of the Hollywood folks I just took a bite out of some guy's ass...he's gonna invite me to twice as many parties. If I tell a new yorker I was at a party with a bunch of assbiters, he's gonna punch me in the nose...and we'd have to start the whole thing all over again.
Permalink | 1/20/2007