The tattoo whisperer

Did a show for a bunch of Pratt students (art school in Brooklyn) the other night and got an applause break midway through...but not cuz I said something funny. I just randomly guessed that a girl had an e.e. cummings tattoo. Strange moment. Recorded it, here's the transcript:

Me: You got tattoos also?

Girl #1: Yes.

Me: Also a mathematical symbol?

Girl #1: No, I have literary tattoos.

Me: Ah, nice. What do we got? Some e.e. cummings?

Girl #2: [Screams] I have an e.e. cummings tattoo.

Me: You have an e.e. cummings tattoo! Look at this, guys! [Applause.] Hello fate. Welcome to the man who is able to guess tattoos. This is my carnival trick. I'm gonna bring out the bearded lady next.

Girl #1: She works at our school. She works at Pratt.

Me: This girl does?

Girl #1: No, the bearded lady does. She teaches the circus class.

Me: God. What do you have to do to be a professor there? Do they just hire them at Coney Island? You're a midget who can drive a nail through your nostrils — come be a professor at Pratt. You can teach the digital media class. Is the bearded lady a good teacher?

Girl #1: She teaches the circus class. You can't take it as a freshman.

Me: Yeah, you need to be a little more EXPERIENCED before you take the circus class. "We don't let just anyone tame the lions at Pratt." Circus class! What are you doing with your lives? How much does this school cost you a year?

Girl #1: $43,000.

Me: Oh my god. Well, you'll all make it back in the art world so no worries there.

The end

(Fyi, the tattoo was the opening line to this poem.)


londoncalling said...

that poem was mentioned in a rom com starring cameron diaz about two sisters ....I'm guessing that's where the lady heard it first ....

Chris Knight said...

This site has a few e.e. cummings tattoos (and one might be that girl): http://www.contrariwise.org/tag/ee-cummings/ I really hope she got inspired by more than a Cameron Diaz movie.

Serendipity is so wonderful in stand-up. It makes you seem like a genius and the audience loves the moment. Tattoos! Bearded ladies! Snappy comebacks! It is why live stand-up will always be better than CDs and DVDs.

Also, I love your blog. I follow the RSS feed, and even though I live in Australia, it's relevant to comedy. And still interesting if not. :-)

Rebecca V. O'Neal said...

Aaaaaand that's why you don't get tattoos your freshman year of high college when Everything Finally Makes So Much Sense To You and E.E. Cummings Really Gets It.

Like shooting fish in a barrel. But who would do that? Horrible saying.

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