The solution to Lance Armstrong and steroids in sports

I'm fine with Lance Armstrong doing all those steroids.

My theory: Performance enhancing drugs should be fine in sports as long as the athlete is also doing performance worsening drugs. Go ahead, you can do steroids as long as you are ALSO on shrooms. That way it all evens out.

Is that version of Lance Armstrong really gonna win the Tour de France – or is he going to stare at his own shadow for 3 hours? Tough call.

Is a tripping Barry Bonds gonna jack all those home runs? It's pretty tough to hit a major league curveball thrown by a DRAGON. That's a real flamethrower.

Imagine Ray Lewis on SHROIDS. His coach is yelling at him and he's crying and saying, "Coach, I was gonna tackle that guy and then I realized: We're the SAME PERSON. There is no end zone...it just keeps beginning!"

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