I get a kick out of people who stop liking a band once they get popular: "Oh really, you like the White Stripes? I liked them before they sold out. Yeah, before they signed to a major label. Before they could even play instruments. I liked them before they were born. I got a bootleg of Jack White's ultrasound on a white label 7-inch import, directly from the hospital, and I was like, 'Woah, this kid's got something.' And then he was born and I'm like, wow Jack, being born, that's a mainstream move. Stay true to the womb next time, Jack. I'm not sure how much they paid you to come down the birth canal, but was it really worth your soul? You were a punk fetus. A DIY embryo. Too bad you didn't keep it real."
I'd like to hear a food lover talk this way: "Oh really, you like bread? I liked bread before it went in the oven. Back when it was flour, yeast, and salt...and it was all raw and mushy, that's when I liked bread. And then it had to crossover and rise up in the oven and become delicious and I was like fuck that, man. Bread was way better when it was keeping it real. I liked eating bread back when it was cooked in a toaster oven in a loft in Williamsburg. Now you can get it anywhere...lame."
