Somalis, Wicked, schizophrenia, pinata, etc.

Some of the things I've posted recently at twitter.com/mattruby:

Warning: That musical Wicked is NOT about the way people speak in Boston.

Can't remember. Am I a fan of Iron & Wine...or Iron Maiden & Ecstasy?

It's pretty impressive that, after all they've been through, Somalis are still the best wine experts in the world.

I think this often: "I'm mad at myself for finding you interesting."

Starting a new magazine about our culture's celeb obsession. Calling it "Us, Weakly."

My family has a history of schizophrenia. No, it doesn't.

Started taking shroids! Steroids laced with shrooms. I can now bench press the interconnectedness of the universe.

I rather enjoy urinals that are filled with ice cubes. Makes me feel like I am opening up a hole in the ozone layer.

Nostalgia is just fear in disguise.

Starting a family is a good move if you want to deal exclusively with people who are obligated to be around you.

Pinata teaches kids the important lesson that if you savagely beat an animal for long enough, delicious candy falls from the sky.

Kid Rock's "Born Free" is a great song if you want to be patriotic but think John Mellencamp is a little too edgy.

Sucks to be an exterminator going through heroin withdrawal. Feels like spiders crawling on your skin AND like you have to go to work.


Abbi Crutchfield said...

Shroids! LOL. I live for joined-words. Jords, if you will.

Anonymous said...

pinata is delightful. sincerely.

much more innocent than ruby's usual fare

Moving on/Subscribe to my newsletter

I only post on rare occasions here now. Subscribe to my Rubesletter  (it's at  mattruby.substack.com ) to get jokes, videos, essays, etc...