Joe Rogan accuses Carlos Mencia of stealing jokes

Joe Rogan leads a bunch of comics in a posse-style attack on joke stealing Carlos Mencia...



The whole pack attack vibe in the video is a bit creepy but I respect the way comics have a code about stealing. If you're caught ripping material, you're pegged for life as persona non grata. Almost like a mafia thing. Rogan talks more about it here.

(Side note on the video: Note the power of the microphone. As soon as someone hands Rogan his own mic, the entire tone changes. Volume is a hell of a weapon.)

Other comics known for ripping off material: Denis Leary stole Bill Hicks material (Rogan talks about this), Robin Williams stole everyone's material (and is supposedly now banned from a lot of NYC clubs). Dane Cook's been accused of stealing from Louis CK and Rogan too. This Radar article has more on joke stealing.

On the flip side, there's gotta be some wiggle room for two people coming up with a joke independently. A lot of creative minds think alike. The "Who's gonna build the wall to keep the Mexicans out?" bit isn't exactly the most original joke I've ever heard.

Also, there's an argument to be made for subconscious leakage here. I can totally see how someone who listens to comedy nonstop and is in the clubs all the time might pick up ideas for material without realizing it. But still, if it's a pattern of behavior, that ain't right.

I've already buried a couple jokes that I came up with on my own. The inconvenience store bit. And I recently had to toss this bit too:

I like when guys come up with these sex acts that humiliate women and then give them strange nicknames. I make up new ones. "That chick I was with last night...I gave her a Detroit Suitcase." That's when you're eating a girl out, you vomit on her, and then you throw her out the window. It's really fucking hot. Or there's the Velvet Porcupine. That's when you she's giving you head and you cover her with honey and then you release a swarm of bees in the room.

Another comic told me Patrice O'Neal does a big chunk on the same topic (I've never seen him). I guess I could go ahead and try it anyway since I did come up with it on my own, but it ain't worth it. As someone starting out, I really don't want to get tagged as a thief.

Besides, it's good inspiration to come up with material that's more personal and authentic to myself. The more you get to a specific, personal truth, the less likely it is that someone else will have covered the same ground.

Would you like some mustard with your table?

HBO in the house

One cool thing about NYC is you can show up to do a slot at normal Monday night "new talent" show and have three guys who've been on HBO there testing out material. Gary Gulman, Jim Norton, and Louis CK were all in the house at Stand Up NY last night and killed it. These guys can sell out big clubs but I think it's even more fun to watch them work a tiny crowd where many/most of the people there don't even know who they are.

Gary MC'd the night. It's interesting how he plays up his "cocky bastard" attitude onstage with his I'm so funny and so good looking schtick. Kinda the opposite of what most comedians do (i.e. obsess over their flaws). He mixes it in with some self-deprecating material and an aw-shucks persona so it works.

The funniest part of Jim Norton's set was the guy who was Amen-ing a lot of Jim's sickest (and presumably somewhat sarcastic) jokes. Jim: "It's awkward going with your girlfriend to get your AIDS test results because you can't really celebrate that much." Guy in back: "Aw, yeah. That's the truth!" Jim: "A guy can't stop fucking a girl once he starts..." Guy in back: "No, he can't! Oh damn, no way!" Best of all, this guy was on a date! WTF? I can only imagine what that poor girl was thinking at her loudmouth, STD-prone, rapist of a date.

Louis CK was the best of the bunch though. He was introduced by the MC and a bunch of people got up to go the bathroom which was amusing in its own way. Louis was just so smooth though. Chuckled about it and moved on. I usually can't stand comics doing jokes about their kids/marriage/etc. but his biting honesty on the subjects is a whole different can of worms. He did great bits about fighting with his wife, how having kids makes you understand how someone could put their kid in a garbage can, the differences between women and girls, etc.

Aside: I went to piss at one point in the night and some dude was in the can taking a dump while talking on one of those walkie talkie cell phones. First off, what the hell is the point of those phones? And why on earth would you use one while taking a shit in a public bathroom?! Then he hung up (or "10-4'd" or whatever). But apparently silence was not an option for this guy. After a few moments, he sighed, "Whoo!" Out loud. I guess so I could empathize with his efforts? Because no one actually has to exclaim out loud while shitting, right??? Hmm, maybe there's just something wrong with me.

The buttons for my brain elevator

The flip

Venue: East Village Lounge (open mic)
Date: 2/8/07
Length: 7 minutes
Crowd: 25 people



Nice feeling last night: I flipped a room from red to black. Open mic at East Village Lounge. My first time there. The room was DONE. Two comics before me had both ventured into creepy territory. Comic yelling at MC, borderline racist/crazy stuff even. (Btw, it's a pretty good sign you're a shitty comic if, after your set, you feel the need to tell someone, "It's ok, I'm biracial.") There were eight people left upfront, the rest were in the back by the bar drinking. I was, um, "cooked" and in my don't give a shit mode. It worked.

First thing I did was call out the bizarro comics before me. "I didn't realize this was a crazy crazy open mic. All open mics are crazy. But this is one of those crazy crazy ones."

Still some loud talking in the back. I decided to get louder. "Is there a fight going on? It's comedy, let's love each other. Or laugh. Or at least stop talking." A little bitchslap to quiet 'em down. They started to pay attention.

Then I commented how open mic comics always start out with ridic premises that no one agrees with..."Remember when you first joined the priesthood?" Er, not really. "Don't you hate it when girls have sex before marriage?" Um, actually I think that's pretty cool.

And then I mentioned the funniest things I had heard so far in the night were actually reactions from the crowd. A guy onstage who was bombing said, "What, do you want me to do a trick?" And some guy in the back said, "Get circumcised." I said, "Now that's funny."

And then there was the un-punch line. Some guy onstage goes, "So when I was in college..." And a guy in the back starts laughing. But that wasn't the joke. The comic was going somewhere with it. But apparently this dude in the back found the concept that this guy had gone to college hilarious on its own.

By this point, the crowd seemed with me. Or at least relieved. I called the couple who was sitting right in front brave and said something about them being willing to sit right next to a dragon.

But then I had an interesting blank out moment where I almost lost 'em. I was doing a joke about how white people always call Barack Obama "articulate" and I sarcastically mimicked a white person saying something like, "He speaks so well for a negro!" It wasn't racist at all (making fun of racists actually) but I think subconciously my mind tripped on the fact that I just said the word "negro" in public. Like I had done something naughty. And then I just blanked out. Couldn't remember where I was supposed to go next with it. Black dude in the front row had to remind we where I was and then I hopped back on. But it was an interesting little trap door I fell into.

I then went into some of my prepared stuff, things I'm working on getting the delivery just right. Went well. I even got the back of the room paying attention and the bartenders laughing (they liked the "whores for oil" bit I've been working on).

Maybe there's some other word besides "flipped" I'm supposed to use for what happened, but that's the first time I've taken a room that negative into the positive. And I did it by being in the moment and just describing what was happening in the room. Plus, I was amusing myself. When you think something's funny and you're almost laughing while you talk about it, people are a lot more likely to give up laughs too.

Afterwards, the MC got back up and thanked me for bringing the attention back to the stage. I got handshakes and good jobs from the other comics. And on my way out, the bartender stopped me, asked me my name, and told me to come back next week. It was just a stupid open mic but I'm more proud of that set than any other I've done to date.

Workshopping jokes

Some rough drafts for jokes I had with Daniela's comments on 'em in italics.

Slutty girls pretend they're inexperienced. They always tell the same lie: "I never do this sort of thing." Meanwhile she's pulling out the nipple clamps, handcuffs, and the Jaws of Life. Er, something's suspicious here.

(the setup should be: slutty girls pretend they are inexperienced. That's good. "I never do this sort of thing" Is good but the examples aren't yet funny- ie rick had the same setup and would say I never this sort of thing and stick the whole mic in his mouth or I have the same setup I say I never do this sort of thing and I had and last week I was tested. You need a punch after the I never do this sort of thing... I really like you just saying I don't need to feel special I need the job done right-

Slutty girls are good for society. They keep pussy in circulation. Without them, there would be a pussy drought. And a pussy drought is bad news for *everyone*...just look at the Middle East. If there were more slutty girls there, guys wouldn't be blowing themselves up to get to those 72 virgins in heaven.

Cut it down! Say: Easy women are the best. A pussy drought would be bad for everyone. The middle east stuff has been done with the 72 virgins- think of a new punch. You could say look at the middle east its terrible. We shouldn't be at war we should exchange oil for our whores 10 barrels for every girl on elimidate. Or something else that is a real problem about slutty girls not being around.

The internet has made male fantasies so specific. Guys used to say, "I like Asian chicks." Now a guy likes barely legal Asian midget cheerleader gangbangs. Meanwhile, his buddy only gets off on *amateur* barely legal Asian midget cheerleader gangbangs. 'Cuz the pro Asian midget cheerleaders just aren't believable. Weddings are like porn for women. Girls don't care about Playgirl, they get off on Modern Bride. It's not "Look at that wang!"...It's "Look at that Vera Wang!"

There are a few different subjects going on in this joke only every have one subject before there is a punchline. The setup is-Say: The internet is making things complicated guys used to say I like asian chicks now they say I like barely legal midget cheerleaders who only do gangbangs. The following stuff about the other guy who likes weird porn too is complicated. You need a punch like "I cant keep up I just like asian chicks" The wedding stuff is a separate joke: Women don't seem to like porn- they don't seem to get off on playgirl the masturbate to modern bride. Look it's a vera wang- im cumming.

Weddings make girls crazy. What other explanation is there for how much wedding crap costs? $2,000 for a fucking *cake*!? I wouldn't pay $2k for a cake if it had one layer of crack, one layer of ecstasy, and frosting made out of Angelina Jolie's pussy juice.

Weddings are stupid. 2000 for a cake I wouldn't pay 2000 for a cake unless the frosting was made out of Angelina jolies pussy juice.

Women have this whole thing with showing off the size of their engagement rings. The subliminal message: It shows what a good provider their mate is. "You got engaged? Let me see the ring!" Men can't do this though. You'll never hear a guy say, "Dude, you got engaged!? Let me see a picture of her tits!"

Women show off their engagement rings. Yuck! Just once I wanna hear a guy say to another guy you got engaged show me the picture of her tits.

Dr. Phil's lost it. He's always spouting those weird Texas phrases but I think he's just making them up. Like: "When you're an armadillo, sometimes it's hard to see the rodeo through the trees." "There's no sense blowing on a tumbleweed if you got a pair of pliers in yer saddle." What the fuck are you talking about Dr. Phil?

The only way to handle this is to say- I feel boring I just wanna go around talking like Dr phil especially on dates with airhead girls. Girl "so these shoes are prada" you "when youre and armadillo it's hard to see the rodeo through the trees" Girl "no I said prada" "Theres no sense blowing on a tumbleweed if you got a pair of pliers" girl "what?" you " I meant blow me."

Dr. Phil also has a weight loss book out. How can a fat man write a book about weight loss? I'm going to put it on my bookshelf right next to "Flava Flav's Guide to Finding Your Soul Mate."

This is good.

Slutty girls keep pussy in circulation

Venue: Stand Up NY
Date: 2/06/07
Length: 8 minutes (excerpt below)
Crowd: 15 people



Uphill battle. Night after Super Bowl. 11 degrees outside. I went on second to last after 2+ hours of so so comics. All considered, it went alright.

I've been working on some new jokes with Daniela and tried some of 'em out. The lines she helped me with got laughs. But when I strayed, the jokes fell flat (too many words, not confident on delivery, etc.). Each word matters so much.

Top priority: I need to tighten stuff up...get a rhythm going. The edited clip on this post shows how my set should sound. Instead I dilly dally too much between punch lines. And whenever i tell a joke for the first time, I talk too much. Hunting and pecking. Too much setup/explaining. I need to just get in and get out.

Matt finally watched Brian's first movie...

A pic of my cameo in Rounders. I told them to make me look like a seventies porn producer.

Matt:
just finished Rounders DVD. great stuff. esp knowing you and picking up on the bits of your life, like law school, michael mcdermott, etc. what an amazing cast too.

i'm sure you've already discussed ad nauseum but...

a few bits in commentary track made me think of comedy: the talk about how audiences enjoy the movie more because they don't understand a lot of the card terminology/references. in my mind, audiences like when a connection is over their head because it shows that you're not insulting them...you're giving them the benefit of the doubt. similar to dennis miller's rattling off arcane references. you'll never get all of 'em but that makes you like the ones you do get that much more.

and then the part where ed norton talks about the thrill of losing to better players. something about how it's "embarrassing yet intoxicating" at the same time. sounds a lot like what it feels like to bomb onstage.

and the suspense vs. surprise discussion was interesting too. sometimes i think comedy is like writing a horror movie or a movie with a surprise twist. it's all about giving enough clues to have it make sense but not enough clues to ruin the suprise. always tough to guage that when you already "know how it ends."

and glad u guys admitted the scene where he rejects foxy famke is ridic. ; )

Brian:
...glad you liked rounders. it's strange how much writing that script changed my life. I remember the beginning days of doing that, of committing to it, of showing up every morning with David to write in this little storage closet with a slop sink, a half a desk and one chair. We saved the draft to floppy disk each day, and each night I would read back what we wrote, amazed that the pages were actually filling up with stuff.

I love thinking about beginnings. David had written screenplays before, but the whole thing was so new to me, and was something I had wanted to do so much and for so long. These beginning days of stand up are similar, somehow, in that I don't know what I am doing, but I love doing it, I have moments of real connection, moments where I feel lost, moments when I am a rank amateur, moments when I know I look and sound like a professional up there. You know what I mean?

Thanks for this picture, by the way.

Matt:
On beginnings...They come with some very cool stuff: Learning, surprises, a time when work feels more like play, anxiety (the good kind), the satisfaction you get from overcoming fear, etc. Beginnings give a rush.

Gotta chop, chop, chop

Venue: Stand Up NY
Date: 1/29/07
Length: 6 minutes
Crowd: 15 people

Mixed feelings about my set last night. On the one hand, it was a dead room so might as well go down with material that I wanted to try. On the other hand, I feel bad getting onstage in front of a "real" audience with material that's completely untested. Feels almost unfair to 'em. Overall, it was a rough few minutes but there were a couple of things I hit on that have potential.

One thing I've noticed is that whenever I try new material, my setups are way too wordy. Makes it more conversational but also comes off as if the set is dragging. When I refine jokes, I'm always chopping 'em down severely. Keeps the pace up.

I'm looking forward to getting more stage time so I'm not as anxious to try new stuff out all the time. I feel like I have to make the most out of my time onstage instead of just relaxing and going with the flow. Like I wish I had chatted with the two Microsoft Vista-promoting chicks or one of the other tables. Since I'm still excited to test out material I don't act as "real" as I should.

I'm in a really unhealthy relationship

I'm in a really unhealthy relationship. I've got polio and she's got smallpox. It's sick.

I caught a butterfly the other day. Crazy thing is it had a tattoo on it's lower back. It was a picture of a teenage girl.

A friend of mine got a Chinese character tattoo. I asked him what the symbol means. He said, "It's Chinese for 'unoriginal tattoo.'"

Life is like a movie. One that was inspired by a true story.

I want to know where Dr. Pepper went to medical school. 'Cuz he is putting his name on some unhealthy shit.

I admire the optimism of unemployed people who say they're "in between jobs." I'm not optimistic about work, but I am optimistic about sex. So I like to say "I'm in between blow jobs." That might be why I don't get hired.

The death of an inconvenience store

Joke of mine: "You always see convenience stores. But I just opened up an inconvenience store. It's only open on Sundays between 5-6 AM. And everything's always out of stock."

Got some laughs with it but never *loved* it loved it.

Today Brian writes, "...you can't do the inconvenience store joke anymore. I was just watching Rob Schneider on Young Comedian's special from 1989 and he does it on there. Says he opened an inconvenience store, they won't give you change, they don't have shelves, etc... thought you'd want to know. at least it's a pro joke you thought of. even if shneider became a hack."

My response: "So I'm like a young Rob Schneider, eh? Scaaaary. ; ) I better start preparing to audition for "Deuce Bigalow 3: The Deuce is Loose."

Anyhow, like Rob Schneider, that joke is now dead to me.

Lobster

The sanctity of marriage

Venue: Caroline's
Date: 1/20/07
Length: 5 minutes
Crowd: 120 people



My set at Caroline's went well. I knew I wanted to get a good tape from it so I brought my A material (different version of video coming but this one's all I've got for now). Had a nice rhythm to it and I was confident cuz I had done well with the exact same set at an open mic on Thursday. If I get open mic'ers to laugh then I think that's a good sign it's gonna work in front of normal people too. Was a very friendly crowd too. Got a lot of positive feedback after the set which was cool.

COMMENTS FROM CLASS TEACHER ON THE SET
Blue collar tractor joke good, White collar: good premise but the private jet joke and country club wife could not follow the anchor joke so you need to punch up or rewrite. Same with celebrity'sanctity of marriage joke. Celebrity punchline good but Britney couldn't follow it. It was more of a commentary than a punchline. Need to punch up. That's it. The close, gay/jewish parade was great.

COMMENTS FROM DANIELA ON THE SET
(Paraphrased from notes) Take the mic out of the stand. It's blocking you from the audience and you're not comfortable enough onstage yet to do it. The Mel Gibson joke is not your opener. Takes too long to get to the punch. Mention the bringer audience. Schlomo/Blind Date joke is good. Schlomo is a great word. Love the Blue Collar Comedy joke too but don't say "hack joke" line. Was better other time you did it when you talked (sarcastically) about how much you love that kind of comedy. Gay pride parade & jewish "we control Hollywood and the media" stuff is strong. These are some great jokes. Great confidence. A+ set. Well, A+ for a bringer audience. Which means more like a B set for a regular audience.

Summary of the stand up class at Manhattan Comedy School

So Brian and I just finished taking a stand up comedy class at the Manhattan Comedy School, which is affiliated with Caroline's.

About the class
Andy Engel, the guy who books the new talent night (aka bringer show) at Caroline's, puts the class together. The teacher was Linda Smith (working comic who's appeared on Conan and HBO and a writer for The Rosie O'Donnell Show, among others). There were about 19 students in the beginning, a few dropped out along the way.

Classes were held at a dance studio in midtown. We met once a week and we slowly built up material. First class, we started by doing two minute sets each. Did more each week building up to a graduation show at Caroline's (it's during the day and the attendees are friends/family of students). Every one did a five minute set at the show and we got a tape of the performance.

Supportive open mic environment
It wasn't so much an instructive class as it was a supportive environment to perform weekly. Linda would offer comments about what was good or not after each set (other students would chime in too) but there wasn't really much actual instruction along the way. The first week we got a handout on some different joke types but that was it.

What was good about this: Compared to real open mics, which are often downers, it was a friendly atmosphere for getting comfortable performing in front of others, learning how to handle the mic, tightening material, etc.

Students
The other students in the class were a mix of unemployed actors, professional dudes who wear cell phones on their belts, a couple of younger hipsters, and random others. Average age was around 30. Seemed like more than a few commuted in from the 'burbs. As performers they were generally pretty bad. A couple were completely delusional (a la American Idol wannabes who can't sing). There were maybe four people with potential, five who were painful, and the rest were somewhere in between.

Was it worth it?
I would've liked it better if there had been tougher criticism involved. Linda was pretty soft on us most of the time. I know you don't want to crush the hopes of beginners but I like constructive criticism, even if it's painful. That said, I understand why she acted that way. It's a delicate situation when some people know what they're doing and some are completely clueless. I think she handled it pretty well.

The class definitely helped me build confidence and it was good to meet other aspiring comics. Yeah, I wish there had been more on topics like premises, act-outs, mixes, calling the room, etc. But it was still worth it.

Plus, I got a solid tape with Caroline's in the background. That's something a lot of comics would kill for.

Bottom line
If you're just starting out in comedy, it's a good way to get your toes wet, build confidence, and meet others. If you're already seasoned, you'll probably feel like someone stuck you on the short bus.

BRIAN ADDS...
I agree with you that the class is really most suited to those whose primary need is confidence, support and the opportunity to get a soft landing the first few times in the air. But I also think that those things are pretty tough to come by in the stand-up game, and that Linda in particular, is genuine in her enthusiasm and desire to help everyone get better.

And I found that both Andy and Linda were really helpful outside class too. That is, I could run material past Linda, report in to her on how my shows were going, get more specific critique by sending her emails or calling her. I don't know if you took advantage of that.

Plus, Andy made a call or two on my behalf to other club bookers recommending that they take a look at me. And he put me up on stage at Caroline's on a Monday night ( I got massacred by the way. I totally choked---no timing, no punchlines, no confidence, I was like Michael Spinks staring across the ring at Tyson in '88, the fight was over before it even started). But still, Andy gave me the shot. Do I think he did it because I'm a screenwriter/producer? I don't know. But for whatever reason, I feel like I got my money's worth out of the class.

The biggest drag to me was that the person I thought had the most potential, in fact, I'd say the one person who seemed to me to be a born comic in that class quit. And I thought it might have been because she was embarrassed to be in a room filled with so many hacks, so many cliched writers, you know? (Nice job by me, huh, calling other writers cliched after I reference Spinks/Tyson...)

The image of death

Venue: Caroline's
Date: 1/20/07
Length: 5 minutes
Crowd: 70 people



BRIAN
I was actually happy with my set, b/c all I cared about was that first bit (posted above). I had thought it would really work, and now I know it can. I think it's the first actual proper bit I have written. Did it work for you sittiing there?

MATT
Overall comments on your progression: I think you're doing a really good job of getting comfortable and natural on stage. You seem more honest and natural each time i see you. You're not hitting a lot of big punch lines yet but i think that'll come.

Did you check out that book i mentioned a while back, Judy Carter's comedy bible? It's totally cheesy at times but has a LOT of really good analysis in there on starting each joke with a defined attitude/premise, using act-outs to get laughs, incorporating mixes, etc. it's been really helpful for me.

She really emphasizes brevity and conciseness too. One thing she says that I think is really good: "If it's not part of the joke, it's part of the problem." I think tightening up your jokes would help a lot. Taking too long to get to the laughs sometimes.

Comments on your set:

* 1st bit had a real nice rhythm to it, almost musical in the way you went back and forth between NYC and LA parts. Would like to see you get to a punchline earlier in the bit though. "Invite you to twice as many parties" gets big laughs...maybe go even further with it?..."invite you to some really raunchy parties." Def a good start though.

* You could extend this topic even further. Do more comparison of blue collar NYC types vs. plastic LA types. Like what Chris Rock does in his "Commitment vs. New Pussy" bit. There's fertile ground here.

* Don't step on your laughs. At least once you started telling a joke before they were done laughing at the last one. Wait till the laughs start to recede and then keep going.

* I'm not crazy about the Neil Diamond joke but maybe it's cuz I actually like Neil Diamond. ; ) Fwiw, Heather mentioned she thinks Death looks a lot like Barry Manilow these days after his gazillion plastic surgeries.

BRIAN
Watched it. Actually, the hollywood and neil diamond things got a lot of laughs. which is how I remembered it, but then I thought you were saying they didn't and i figured I remembered it wrong. the rest of it was just disorganized and jumbled and I wasnt concentrating.

MATT
Oh yeah, you def got some laughs. Was just trying to offer some constructive criticism cuz I think that's more helpful than merely saying "you did swell."

BRIAN
I've been sitting here thinking about the whole punch line thing. And I've decided not to push. I'm not going to do the judy carter book or any book or joke forms or any of that. I'm totally prepared to spend a year not getting consistent laughs in order to find my material in a more natural, unconscious way. Even the jokes I have that always get big laughs, like the subway joke, are too stock, not original or specific enough to really define anything. So I'm basically dropping them from the act. I dig the hollywood thing because of how it came to me, because it is essentially true, because it is representative of where I find myself and because it takes the audience on a journey. I think that the reason the audience was there for the end of that bit is that they were interested in where it was gonna go, even if they weren't laughing, they were listening. And if I can keep them interested and listening, then I feel like in the end, in a month from now, or in a year or two years, I can get them listening and laughing. Or, you know, maybe I'll just give the whole thing up after tonight...

MATT
Yeah, I totally get where you're coming from and I think your reasoning makes sense. Actually, she makes a lot of the same points in the book. About finding your authentic voice, finding subjects you feel passionate about, etc. The structures are really just tools you use to shape the jokes.

Depends on whether you want to follow a map or just navigate your own path. If you choose the latter, the journey might take longer. But you also might wind up somewhere more interesting.

Personally, I get a kick out of knowing the rules, at least at first. It makes it that much more fun when you break 'em.

Joke structures (like premise -> act-out -> mix) remind me of the underlying structures you find in other creative outlets, like grids in graphic design or scales in music. Helpful tools but ones that should def be used as a foundation, not a crutch.

COMMENTS FROM LINDA ON THE SET
I specifically liked the Hollywood/New York bit. It immediately establishes your stage persona, but it needs to be tighter which will allow you to carry that attitude through your whole performance. The death bit is a great premise. It's original and fresh, but I felt it fell a bit flat. I would like to see you develop it more. Punch it up and run with it.

You are obviously a great writer and that showed in the material. Your performance chops will come from stage time, stage time, stage time. Overall you did a nice job. Keep tweaking your material and keep showing up.

Death and Neil

I see that Matt referenced this weird bit of mine that he called the neil diamond joke. Which is better called the death joke so as not to ruin the punchline. That said, punchline already ruined, here is the bit.

I freaked myself out the other night.
I was trying to fall asleep but I couldn't get the image of death out of my head.
I just kept thinking of death. And then the phone rang, and I was scared to pick it up. I thought, what if it's him, death, on the phone. Would I answer and say, 'hey, I was just thinking about you,' and would he say, 'see, I told you we should hook up with each other...' and I really almost lost it, but then I realized, hey, that's not the image of death in my head, it's Neil Diamond, I just get them confused sometimes.

Hi, it's Brian

Hey, this is Brian Koppelman. Matt and I met in a comedy class. We were among the small group of folks in the class who could be considered, by some, to be clinically sane. And we have been performing on a bunch of the same shows around the city. I guess some combination of those things led Matt to invite me to come post here. The below is a bit I wrote this morning, that I am going to perform this afternoon. I'll let you know how it goes.

I'm a hollywood screenwriter but I live in new york. People ask me why. I say it's so I can keep it real, grounded. So that I can have non-hollywood friends, you know regular guys, working guys. But it gets tricky, because each world has different customs. See, half the people, the Hollywood people, you kiss hello, the other half, the regular guys, you give a hearty handshake. Now, if I just offer a hand to some hollywood guy who expects a kiss by accident, he's gonna think he offended me somehow. But if I try to kiss one of the regular guys, he's gonna give me a bloody nose. If the hollywood folks see I have a bloody nose they're gonna organize an intervention, try and throw me in rehab for cocaine addiction. If one of the new york guys sees I have a bloody nose, he's gonna ask me who the fuck did it and tell me we need to go take a bite out of that guy's ass. If I then tell one of the Hollywood folks I just took a bite out of some guy's ass...he's gonna invite me to twice as many parties. If I tell a new yorker I was at a party with a bunch of assbiters, he's gonna punch me in the nose...and we'd have to start the whole thing all over again.

"How's it feel?" (IM about stand up)

Jason: how's it feel, btw? standup
Me: very interesting. material counts for a lot but so much is delivery, timing, confidence, etc. they say you need to do it for years to even get decent. all about stage time
Jason: Feels like it's one of the hardest jobs there is
Me: one nice thing: there's an easily quantifiable metric for success...laughter. you know if shit is working or not.
Jason: true but the rejection...
Me: yeah, u def have to believe in what you're saying. same material can kill w/ one audience and die with another. it's been an interesting learning curve.
Jason: I bet. It's gotta help in a lot of other ways too. General confidence, general belief in your own ideas, etc
Me: i've prob already got a fairly delusional amount of confidence/belief in my own ideas.

I am a penguin racist

Venue: Mo Pitkin's
Date: 1/14/07
Length: 8 minutes
Crowd: 25 people



This is just an excerpt (whole set went 8 minutes). Went for the more absurdist one-liner bits. Did ok though crowd was a bit fatigued by that point (it's a mixed open mic w/ musicians and comics).

This video is the first time I've ever seen myself do standup. I think I look pretty comfortable. I seem stoned (I am not). I like leaving the mic in the stand but then I'm not sure what to do with my hands. Note to self: Don't strike fabulous poses, like hand on hip, that make you look super gay (later in set, unseen here).

Brian: I like that penguin joke. The premise is really strong. We've talked a bunch about the idea of there being a few different approaches a new stand up can take in shaping his act. And we seem to have classified your approach as being absurdist or kind of third person observing and mine as a real first-person, self-revelatory thing. But in thinking about your jokes, they actually reveal a ton about the way you see the world. When the absurdist jokes are specific and tight they also serve as a sort of map of your brain. And so the audience gets to know you just as well as they get to know me when I am talking about something that might, on the surface, be more personal. Not that any of these distinctions/ruminations even fucking matter, by the way, especially to the audience. But in the beginning, before I can actually make anyone laugh, I take some bullshit comfort in being able to intellectualize about it.

Daniela: Stop swaying and leaning! Take the mic out of the stand. Don't do the penguin racist joke. It's been done before. Alcohol under attack is good.

Should I stay or should I go?

Venue: Stand Up NY
Date: 1/8/07
Length: 8 minutes
Crowd: 17 people

I wanted to try sticking to written material since I wandered around quite a bit my prev time on stage. I felt like I kinda stiffed it but when I listened back to the set it seemed delivered well at least.

Tough room by that stage of the evening. After 1.5 hours of comedy, it's tough to keep laughing – I realize why movie comedies are so short now. Following HBO guys doesn't help either. Def educational to see how the pros do it though.

Weird too cuz the crowd was so split. You had the 10 kinda angry black kids, the Abercrombie and Fitch table, the parents waiting for their kid, etc. I don't think I've got the street cred to really appeal to the urban crowd but I didn't want to seem like I was performing just for the little white kids. I threw in my Snoop bit and some stuff that I normally would leave out. Tough to be all things to all people though.

I think that's part of why I liked the Mo Pitkin's open mic thing...it was more "my people" (downtown types). I'm learning how much the audience determines where you go with things. Do you stick with the material that you care about most even if it's bombing or do you tailor it to the crowd? Something to think about.

--

Note I sent to Brian (who performed earlier in the evening): Nice job winging it last night. Might not have maximized laughs but I think you're def building up comfort level on stage. I think it's a process of getting comfortable and then tightening it up so there's still laugh points.

Some minor comments: You started off seeming like you were gonna be really open/honest/confessional, which was good, but then you went into the Neil Diamond joke. Seemed like a disconnect. Also, kids these days prob don't hide their porn stash under the bed (I assume they just get it all on the internet). Might be dating yourself there.

Brian's Response: Thanks for your thoughts. Yeah, it was a tough night, but also a really good experience to have.