"My short skirt is not an invitation to rape me"

You know the show "The Vagina Monologues"? I heard a girl talking about one of the monologues and it starts out, "My short skirt is not an invitation to rape me."

I totally agree.

But it got me to wondering: If I was going to invite someone to rape me, what would the invitation look like?

Would an Evite be good enough? Or would I make it more formal? After all, this is a life-changing event that I'm inviting someone to...probably needs a classy, sans-serif, italic font.

And I'd prob need my parents to send it too:

"Mr. and Mrs. Samuel Ruby cordially invite you to penetrate their son's asshole. Please tell us if you would prefer chicken or fish with that."

Ack, that's far enough. Disclaimer: This post is not an invitation to rape me.

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