You know the show "The Vagina Monologues"? I heard a girl talking about one of the monologues and it starts out, "My short skirt is not an invitation to rape me."
I totally agree.
But it got me to wondering: If I was going to invite someone to rape me, what would the invitation look like?
Would an Evite be good enough? Or would I make it more formal? After all, this is a life-changing event that I'm inviting someone to...probably needs a classy, sans-serif, italic font.
And I'd prob need my parents to send it too:
"Mr. and Mrs. Samuel Ruby cordially invite you to penetrate their son's asshole. Please tell us if you would prefer chicken or fish with that."
Ack, that's far enough. Disclaimer: This post is not an invitation to rape me.
Sandpaper Suit is NYC standup comic Matt Ruby's (now defunct) comedy blog. Keep in touch: Sign up for Matt's weekly Rubesletter. Email email@example.com.
"My short skirt is not an invitation to rape me"
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