It's odd that a light year is actually a unit of distance. Like we say, "That star is 1 million light years away." We're measuring distance with time.
But we never measure time with distance. If we did...
1) 1 light year is equal to 5,878,630,000,000 miles.
2) That means each mile is 0.00000000000017 of a light year.
3) So if someone asked you how old you are, you could respond "I am 0.0000000000051 miles of light old."
And then imagine if we combined light years with dog years somehow. Time would get old really fast. Or what if we combined light years with Miller Lite? Then you'd have Miller Lite Years – where time would just taste like water.
Boy, this light stuff is getting heavy.
Sandpaper Suit is NYC standup comic Matt Ruby's (now defunct) comedy blog. Keep in touch: Sign up for Matt's weekly Rubesletter. Email mattruby@hey.com.
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2 comments:
funny you posted this Matt. I literally just read something similar in Seinfeld's book "Seinlanguage" a few hours ago.
He says "you can measure distance by time. "how far away is that place?" about 20 minutes." but it doesn't work the other way. "when do you get off work?" "around 3 miles."
People always lie about distance and time - especially people who have a second home. They tell you it's only an hour and half drive and three hours later you're still miles away. It's called cognitive distance.
Hamish Pringle
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