Put on your own show

Most of the shows I do spots on are produced by other comics. They work to bring out a crowd, set it up with the venue, etc. I do the same so I know it's a pain. A fun pain, but still.

So, if you're an up and coming comic, is it your duty to produce a show? Is it fine for a standup to just perform for audiences other comics work to bring out but to never bring anyone out themselves?

I don't if it's a duty, but I definitely think it's a good idea. First of all, it seems kind of leechy to be someone who benefits from the efforts of your peers without giving back in any way. You're like a dude who likes getting head but refuses to eat pussy. Second, it's a great way to get on the map. People notice when you put on a show, especially if it's a good one.

I can imagine the counterargument: "But I don't think I can bring out a crowd." Then host a mic or something. Or team up with a few other comics to put on a group show so there's less pressure on each individual to draw. "But I'm a bad host." Then get someone else to host for you and just do a normal set during the show.

If you don't put on a show or contribute to the scene in some other way, then you better be so hilarious that booking you is an irresistible option. (Once you kill consistently, then it doesn't really matter if you're producing shows. You bring something to the table that ain't easy to find: consistent funny.) But if you're not bringing that and you're not putting on a show, why do you think others will reach out to you?

I guess it's a slippery slope though since this tit for tat mentality can lead to the whole "I booked you on a show so you should book me" thing. That makes me uncomfortable because, well, I want to do spots on other people's shows but not feel like I'm then obligated to book them on mine. So maybe I'm a hypocrite?

Sea of glasses at Eugene Mirman show

Photo taken at Eugene Mirman's book release party the other night:



Only one conclusion can be drawn: Eugene Mirman's comedy will destroy your eyes! Either that or he's got some new bit that's in 3D. He's always innovating that guy.

"The bathroom attendant just strongarmed me into giving him a dollar."

A guy I know came out of the bathroom at a comedy club and said, "The bathroom attendant just strongarmed me into giving him a dollar." I said, "Really? Did you wash your hands?" His reply: "Yeah. And then I took a piece of gum, a lollipop, and some cologne."

So it wasn't so much that the attendant strongarmed him as it was that he didn't want to LOSE money being a bathroom attendant. It's not like he's got a sponsorship deal. The guys at Dentyne aren't going, "How can we reach that exclusive urinal demographic?"

And I love the idea of a bathroom attendant "strongarming" someone. Strongarming is for communist dictators. That's like saying, "That shoeshine boy rules his stand with an iron fist! Surrender or your shoes go to Siberia!" Stalin and Castro strongarm. When you're the bathroom attendant at Comix named King, you ask.

Yeah, his name is actually King. Which I find fairly amusing since he's a bathroom attendant. I give his parents points for positive thinking. But I might have to deduct a few for accuracy. "What's the name of the new janitor?" "Princess."

Red Velvet Whoopie Pie

Can't decide whether this thing looks more like a clam from another planet or a pocket pussy...from another planet. I also love that it's called a gob. What better way to say Happy Valentine's Day than to give your lover a vagina gob!

Letterman: "Joaquin, I'm sorry you couldn't be here tonight."

Joaquin Phoenix melts down on Letterman [via RVV]:



Man, fascinating to watch. Phoenix seems like he's doing a bit, like Charles Grodin used to do on Carson and Letterman when he'd act all fake pissed off. And he gets laughs too. It's a train wreck but the crowd is riveted. I'm kinda tired of the whole "The Office" formula (i.e. uncomfortable moments = comedy), but here's a real life example of why it works so well. Cringe-worthy moments and laughter are closely linked.

Letterman is such a pro too. Keeps an even keel and pokes fun while keeping the whole thing afloat. (Doing We're All Friends Here has given me a new respect for the challenges that interviewers face.) "What can you tell us about your days with The Unabomber?" "Joaquin, I'm sorry you couldn't be here tonight." And I love when he asks, "Can you set up the clip for us Joaquin?" and Paul just starts laughing!

Tonight (Thu) I'll be on the radio on The David Angelo Show

Tonight (Thu) at 8-9pm I'll be appearing live on The David Angelo Show. Angelo's a super funny comic and his radio show is rated #9 somewhere. I'm not sure where but I bet it's somewhere good. Go here to listen: www.davidangeloradio.com. Or it will be archived later if you're that sort.

Here's Angelo on the show:

So the show is really picking up some charge. The first episode had over 500 downloads through itunes and switchpod - which is probably the best debut in non-celebrity podcasting history. I am also pretty sure we are destroying the Quincy Jones podcast in the numbers game.

Also, Angelo likes puns a lot so I've been getting ready...

1) I went to a party at Jimmy Dean's place the other night. It was a total sausagefest.
2) Did you hear about the new Beverly Hills Cop exfoliating sponge? It's called The Axl-F-oliator.

Oh man, get ready. (251)-300-JOKE is the call-in line for the show if you want to ask us questions about illegal immigration (I'm pro!) or the Jets quarterback situation (I'm con!). I don't believe you're allowed to call in about anything else on talk radio though.

And talk about synergy...Angelo is on the next We're All Friends Here show on Feb 20 (Fri) at The Creek at 9pm. Hee ya. Details...

WE'RE ALL FRIENDS HERE:
The comedy chat show with boundary issues!
Hosted by Matt Ruby and Mark Normand
Friday, February 20
9:00pm @ The Creek
10-93 Jackson Ave at 49th Ave
Long Island City, NY
Map: http://tinyurl.com/3l4wot
Just one subway stop from Brooklyn and Manhattan

This show will feature Julian McCullough, Jamie Lee, David Angelo, and Gilad Foss!

Valentine's liquor store

The liquor store near my home:



Just what I need: A liquor store that comes right out and tells me, "You're mine." C'mon booze, you don't have to rub it in.

Louis CK at Comix = most impressive standup show I've ever seen

We watched Louis CK do a 1 hour and 22 minute set last night at Comix. And our table of four comics all agreed: He's the best out there right now. It's not even close. He just filmed a special a year ago and he's got that much new material. And it's not just ok material. It's all fucking great. Every single bit of it.

Was like watching a master class. It's all so effortless, feels like he's just talking. But there's a punchline every 10 seconds. And then he'll keep getting wilder with it until he ends on some crazy line and cracks, "I just said that because I knew it would piss you off." And then he smirks.

More physical act-outs than I've ever seen him do before. And first time I've ever heard him address his new single life. More bits on his kids. And some really great stuff about what's wrong with our culture today. I think his bit on people who complain about their cellphones is destined to be a classic. And he even does 10 minutes on airplanes and airports and makes 'em seem like fresh topics.

At one point, he lost his place (maybe intentionally?) and went in reverse describing the last 6 topics he'd discussed in order to remember his point. The crowd burst out in applause. His response: "People will clap at any list." And then that smirk again. Great. And his intro bit was fun too. All about "I don't know what to say to you people. I don't actually have a reason to be talking to you." Man, it was just all so good.

I feel like he's got some sort of secret formula. Maybe it's the 20+ years of doing it. But I feel like coming up with a great bit is like climbing a mountain for us guys. And for him it's like going out for a jog.

Also, there's so much passion in his delivery. He just really cares (or seems too) about everything he's talking about. All the people he discusses really piss him off and he can't wait to explain why. That energy pushes it all over the top. It's that anger and passion that let him take topics that would be meh if others did them and makes them fly.

Fwiw, supposedly Chris Rock and Darren Aranofsky (director of The Wrestler and Requiem for a Dream) were hanging out with him backstage after the show.

Afterwards, we went to UCB and saw Mirman, Schaal, Galifianakis, etc. Was fun. But couldn't hold a candle to what we had seen at Comix. CK is the bar.

And btw, Paul F. Tompkins and John Mulaney are scheduled to do Whiplash next week at UCB. And there's another Benson Interruption there on Feb. 18. Reserve it up. All these kickass shows make ya feel kinda lucky to be in NYC.

Trying to write extended bits instead of quickies

Lately, I've been trying to write extended bits that are a few minutes long as opposed to just a funny joke and on to the next topic. Part of that is stretching existing bits and another part is trying to fold other jokes (old and new) into the new stuff. Mark and I were discussing it:

Me:

actually, the way birbigs works is helpful on that too. he's reusing jokes from his first two albums in his new show. but it's all there to support the story and his attitude. "a rapist wouldn't have a bed like that"...I think he's used that joke on two CC Presents and his new show too. but it's because it's the PERFECT joke for setting up who he is and where he's taking the audience.

Mark:

Aww man, tying jokes in to other jokes is the best. not only does it help you remember it but it sounds so much better. that's how audiences tell an amateur from a pro. It looks more like a convo. seamless. When I do that longer spot next week, I'm going to try to weave a lot of shit together.

Did you read somewhere to do that or did it just come as a natural progression?

Me:

Natural progression I guess. I just feel like there's a flow when shit is tied together. It feels like there's a bigger point rather than just trying to get laughs. And the comedians I dig most...CK, Birbigs, Tompkins, Mulaney...all their bits are longer. It's not in-and-out jokes. They're on a topic for minutes at a time. They go somewhere with it. I figure if that's what I like most, then that's what I should be trying to do.

It used to be I'd have an aha moment for a new joke idea. Now it's sometimes an aha moment where I figure out that some old joke I threw away can be tied in with something new I'm working on.

CK and Galifianakis tonight (Monday)

Oh what a night. Late December 1963. Or early February 2009, if you like comedy.

CK is doing a set at Comix tonight for $15. Tickets. Last minute thing. CK explains:

Hello folks. I am all of a sudden doing a full hour plus long set tonight at COMIX on 14th street in new york city. I am running the set for a director who might shoot my next special with me in March. So if you want to see me do my full concert set in a half full club in New York city for a relatively cheap price, come to COMIX tonight, Monday, February 9th at 8PM.

Also tonight:

Whiplash @ UCB
11:00 pm — FREE
Monday February 9, 2009
w/Zach Galifianakis, Kristen Schaal, and Eugene Mirman.
Reservations.

Video: Boot Camp Yoga

Saw this sign for a Boot Camp Yoga type class near where I live:



I made a movie showing what I imagine that being like:



(Made this using xtranormal — you type something, it turns it into a movie.)

Nominees for ECNY Awards announced

Hey there, my "We're All Friends Here" cohost Mark Normand was nominated as Best Emerging Comic at the ECNY Awards! Congrats Mark, well deserved. And I mean that. Not only is he really hilarious — he's still one of my faves to watch even though I see him constantly — but he hustles as hard as anyone in the game.

I asked Mark if he had any comment to share with y'all. His response:

Oh boy... uh, I really appreciate it. I want to thank all the really shitty shows in new york for making comedy incredibly hard. Also, Vote Patton!

Heh. He means Sean Patton, who's also nominated (and hilarious). What a diplomat.

How were nominees determined? According to the site, internet voters could nominate people and then the finalists were determined by the ECNY Industry Committee.

We take that list to our hand-picked Industry Committee which consists of a broad spectrum of comedy professionals based in New York. These people live and breathe comedy: they manage theaters, they produce shows, they work in television, they run internet sites, they blog about us and review shows. The Industry Committee vote and the top vote getters became nominees.

Winners will be announced at an awards ceremony on March 9 at Comix.

What it feels like to kill

What's it feel like when you're really killing? I was watching "The Hustler" the other day and I thought this speech that Fast Eddie (Paul Newman) gives comes close to describing something that probably can't really be described. He's talking about playing pool but you get the drift...

When I'm goin', I mean, when I'm REALLY goin' I feel like a... like a jockey must feel. He's sittin' on his horse, he's got all that speed and that power underneath him... he's comin' into the stretch, the pressure's on 'im, and he KNOWS... just feels... when to let it go and how much. Cause he's got everything workin' for 'im: timing, touch. It's a great feeling, boy, it's a real great feeling when you're right and you KNOW you're right.

It's like all of a sudden I got oil in my arm. The pool cue's part of me. You know, it's a - pool cue, it's got nerves in it. It's a piece of wood, it's got nerves in it. Feel the roll of those balls, you don't have to look, you just KNOW. You make shots that nobody's ever made before. I can play that game the way... NOBODY'S ever played it before.

Ok, maybe it's a stretch. But I dug it.

Don't be [redacted]

Mark and I discussing the sameyness of comics we see at mics/shows in NYC...

Me:

i think comics we know don't think about this enough: what will i be remembered as after the show? the audience will know me as "the guy who talks about _____." what's the blank? birbigs whole act: i say stupid things i shouldn't. CK: i'm miserable and i hate my kids.

at the shows we go to, it's just so many white dudes telling similar jokes. why are you different? why will the crowd remember you? why would i know [redacted #1] from [redacted #2] from some other white dude who looks just like 'em? gotta have some sorta hook.

Mark:

Of course you have to stand out. I honestly don't know the difference between [redacted #3] and [redacted #4]. To me they are the same fucking guy! That terrifies me. I never want to be that. On stage or in life. Be you, stand out, don't conform.

Confusable comics get redacted in people's brains.

Daily Show guest too fat to walk to set?

Daily Show guests always walk on to the set from the wings after being introduced by Jon Stewart. But not former National Economic Council Director Lawrence Lindsey, who stopped by the show on Monday. Instead, he's just there. Sitting. Waiting.



Unprecedented! Now I'm just dying to see this guy walk somewhere. Anywhere. Maybe he just gets hauled around from place to place using a system of pulleys — or anti-gravity suspensors like Baron Vladimir Harkonnen in Dune.

(That's right, I went old school Sci-Fi reference on your ass. Sue me! Hmm, that might be my new tagline..."Sue me!" Got a nice ring to it.)

The Pocket is down

FYI, The Pocket (sidebar area where I share links) is down for the time being due to a meltdown at bookmark sharing website Ma.gnolia. "The failure appears to be catastrophic." Sounds bad, but apparently they're working on it. If they can't fix, I'll look into using something else.

Update: Switched from Ma.gnolia to Delicious for The Pocket's links. Let's see how it goes.

Harvard Business School, Sandpaper Suit, and Chris Rock's small experiments

Whoa, Sandpaper Suit got a shoutout at the Harvard Business School blog. Here: "Innovate Like Chris Rock." In it, Peter Sims, author of a book on leadership, refers to my post about watching Rock work out new material. Here's what Sims wrote:

We can all innovate like Chris Rock. Consider his process and methods.

First, he picks small venues where he can do rapid, low-risk experiments with new material. In gearing up for his latest global tour, he made between 40 and 50 appearances at a small venue called the Stress Factory in New Brunswick, New Jersey, not far from where he lives. Rock told the Orange Country Register, "It's like boxing training camp. I always pick a comedy club to work out in."

In front of audiences of say 30 to 40 people, Rock will bring a yellow legal note pad with lots of joke ideas scribbled on it, according to fellow comedian Matt Ruby. In sets that run say 45 minutes, many of the jokes will fall flat, but according to Ruby, "There were 5-10 lines during the night that were just ridiculously good. Like lightning bolts. My sense is that he starts with these bolts and then writes around them."

It's all part of a process. When the material falls flat, Rock will even pause to say things like, "This needs to be fleshed out more if it's gonna make it."

In an eerie way, Chris Rock innovates like Amazon does. Amazon led by founder and CEO Jeff Bezos has continuously used experiments to identify unique growth opportunities beyond the company's core book business - such as the Kindle, Amazon stores, and elastic cloud computing.

Ah, ol' Mortimer the Steel Baron would be so proud — though he's more of a Wharton man really.

FYI, several of the bits Rock was working on at the time wound up in his "Kill The Messenger" special. Overall, I thought KTM was funny but not as great as his first couple of HBO specials. And the rapid-fire cuts between the different shows really sucked. Didn't it occur to anyone at HBO that kind of chop suey editing might fuck with the timing?

February NYC shows at beer gardens, wine bars, candy stores, etc.

I'll be doing spots at these upcoming shows:

02/03 09:00 PM - Comedyland @ Bohemian Hall and Beer Garden
02/08 08:00 PM - Denial Sunday @ Rouge Wine Bar
02/10 07:00 PM - Comedy Showdown @ Ochi’s Lounge (Comix)
02/12 08:00 PM - Live on DavidAngeloRadio.com
02/13 10:00 PM - The Ultimate Experts @ The Producer’s Club
02/20 09:00 PM - WE’RE ALL FRIENDS HERE @ THE CREEK
02/21 08:00 PM - If You Build It @ Karma
02/22 08:00 PM - Sunday Night Standup @ Three of Cups Lounge
02/23 07:30 PM - Monday Evening Stand-Up @ Pete’s Candy Store

Ya can always find upcoming gigs listed at my MySpace page.

(Updated) Brian Regan wrings the towel dry

(Updated this post with a version of the clip that works.)

According to Patton Oswalt: "Brian Regan's THE BEST stand-up working today." I don't know if I'd go that far, but I def enjoy watching Regan perform (and I give guys like him, Birbigs, Gaffigan, and Paul F. extra points for being clean yet still funny).



One thing I noticed while watching this "Me Monsters" clip: He really knows how to wring the towel dry. By that, I mean he really gets every last drop out of an act out. A couple of examples...

Example 1: At 1:40 in, he makes fun of people who have to outdo ya with their medical tales. A lot of comics would end after one or two examples (say where he gets a laugh on "I've had nine wisdom teeth pulled.") But Regan milks it for a good 20 seconds more. Turns a premise that most comics would get only a chuckle out of into a full bit that hits hard. (Applause break but who knows if that was sweetened afterwards.)

Example 2: At 3:14 in, he makes fun of "Me Monsters" who talk about themselves too much. Again, he turns what would be a one-line punch by another comic into a full 20 second act out. (Maybe 20 seconds is some kind of magical amount of time for act outs?) It's not just stretching for the sake of stretching either. He goes somewhere by ending with the chest thumping and the whole extended thing offers the perfect contrast for the short moon line that follows.

Is it better to start off as a comic in NYC or somewhere else?

I'd say somewhere else. Stay in (or, if you're in a podunk town, move to) Chicago, Boston, or Seattle and take some time to build your chops. The worst thing about comedy in NYC is how hard it is to get stage time. Other cities give you more of a chance to grow and get in front of real audiences sooner (and non-NYC crowds are usually more tolerant). Then, when you're really killing it in your home town, consider making the move.

That said, you'll be in for a rude awakening when you get here. Comics who are really cooking in, say, Seattle come to NYC and find that they pretty much have to start over. That can be a tough thing, to go from doing sweet gigs in front of real audiences to schlepping from one open mic to another where you're performing only for comics who don't give a fuck.

Also, you'll probably have to dump a lot of your material. Jokes that work on the road or in other cities can crash hard in NYC. The plus side to that: I think if you can kill here, you know you've got strong material. I feel like the talent level of other comedians and the savviness of audiences here really push you to come up with stronger material than you would otherwise.

After you move here, then what? Well, it helps if you've got friends here already. Being hilarious is a good start, but having people who can hook you up with spots and vouch for you to others can help you skip ahead and save months of grunt work. Still, you'll probably need to perform wherever and whenever at first.

And then there's the whole social aspect of being a comic. Being "on the scene" is cheesy sounding but it is the best way to get spots and get known.

Derek Sivers is a guy who advises musicians but I think a lot of his advice applies to comics too. In Advice for a 19-year-old guitarist who wants to be a session musician, he talks about the importance of social skills:

Commit yourself to learning the social skills needed to be the guy that people call. It means a few hours a day of meeting everyone you can, being around the studios where people are hiring session musicians, being a good listener, being positive and helpful, keeping in touch, etc.

(I made a living as a session musician in NYC for a few years. I’m a good guitarist, but I swear the reason I kept getting called is I would find a way to appreciate whatever crap they played me, telling them that it’s awesome. It was a white lie but a good one, because people can be really insecure in the studio, and need encouragement.)

Be humble and constantly learning, understanding you’ve made a many-year-long commitment to mastery. Some may scoff at you for being the new kid in town, so agree with them, respect their experience, and make sure they know you’re committed. So few really are, that you’re sure to stand out.

Just translate that to comedy and it's equally good advice. Go to all the shows, listen to people, be positive, leave witty comments on people's Facebook accounts, tell someone when you like one of their bits, and show that you're really committed to it. Do that for long enough and people notice.

And constantly get more hilarious. The best thing you can do is be undeniably good.