"The bathroom attendant just strongarmed me into giving him a dollar."

A guy I know came out of the bathroom at a comedy club and said, "The bathroom attendant just strongarmed me into giving him a dollar." I said, "Really? Did you wash your hands?" His reply: "Yeah. And then I took a piece of gum, a lollipop, and some cologne."

So it wasn't so much that the attendant strongarmed him as it was that he didn't want to LOSE money being a bathroom attendant. It's not like he's got a sponsorship deal. The guys at Dentyne aren't going, "How can we reach that exclusive urinal demographic?"

And I love the idea of a bathroom attendant "strongarming" someone. Strongarming is for communist dictators. That's like saying, "That shoeshine boy rules his stand with an iron fist! Surrender or your shoes go to Siberia!" Stalin and Castro strongarm. When you're the bathroom attendant at Comix named King, you ask.

Yeah, his name is actually King. Which I find fairly amusing since he's a bathroom attendant. I give his parents points for positive thinking. But I might have to deduct a few for accuracy. "What's the name of the new janitor?" "Princess."


Anonymous said...

King's always got a smile on though!

Cory Palmer said...

King was the first time I'd ever been in a bathroom with an attendant. And I was the only one in there. It was the perfect storm for stage fright.

Matt Ruby said...

@Dan Fontaine = Yeah, King's great. Sometimes I wonder what he's really thinking about all the lame mic material he's subjected to in there though.

Aalap said...

King was mysteriously absent last monday. Maybe he took the holiday off. He's a super nice guy and he laughs more than you might think, quite a bit more than most comics I suspect.

I'd also be interested in hearing what Eric the bartender thinks of all the comedy he absorbs each monday.

Moving on/Subscribe to my newsletter

I only post on rare occasions here now. Subscribe to my Rubesletter  (it's at  mattruby.substack.com ) to get jokes, videos, essays, etc...