"I don't mean to accuse you"

The scene: A comedy club in Chicago back in the fall. I do my set (including my bit on the Gay Pride Parade), get offstage, and head to the back of the room. On the way, I pass the comic who's going on next. (We also shared a bill another time I was in town.) He reaches out to shake my hand.

Chicago comic: Hey, that joke about the Gay Pride Parade? I've got a bit like that and I did it at that show we were both on a couple months back.
Me: Uh, OK. You think I ripped you off? I've been doing that joke for years.
CC: [Still shaking my hand. Looks doubtful.]
Me: I've got a YouTube clip from 2006 where I do that joke if you want to see it.
CC: [Still shaking my hand.] Alright man, honor system. Honor system.
Me: Uh, alright. [He's being introduced so I take my hand back and walk away.]

He then goes up and performs. When he gets offstage, he comes to the back of the room with a notebook and pen in his hand and sits down next to me.

CC: So, I don't mean to accuse you or anything but where can I go to see that video?
Me: [Laughing.] Well, I think you DO mean to accuse me of something. But sure. [I give him info for how to find it on YouTube. Then I give him my card too.] And here's my card, if you can't find it then email me and I'll send you the link.
Me: Really man, it's not the most original premise in the world.
CC: [Gets up and walks away.]

Never heard anything more from him.


Kent said...

So don't take this personally, and no offense, and with all due respect, but you suck. Just saying...

Matt Ruby said...

Heh, Kent. I do love "with all due respect" prefaces. Also good: "Can I be perfectly honest with you?"

Anonymous said...

gotta respect the guy for actually bringing it up though...i guess.

Anonymous said...

oh and i also like "it's the least i could do". thanks for making sure i knew that you did as little as possible when it came to making me feel special.

i said that to a guy yesterday and realized how much of an asshole i was.

sounds like a normand bit too :]

Paul Kelleher said...

What are the chances... 2 bits about the Gay pride parade.

Chesley Calloway said...

I like how it was the last thing he was thinking about before taking the stage and then the first thing he wanted to know about when he was off, like it had been eating him up throughout his whole set.

Abbi Crutchfield said...

This is the closest I came to having parallel thought with another artist. (A link to their similar bit is at the bottom of the post).

It stinks, but it's a challenge to keep being funny. Matt, you've already said you advise against being too protective of your material. If only that guy read your blog.

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