Lots of talk re: "Ponzi schemes" in the news. But I always hear *Fonzi* schemes & imagine The Fonz hitting an ATM w/ his elbow & cash spitting out.
"fashionably late" = just goes to show what dicks fashion people are. Q: "what's in style this season?" A: "pinstripes...and being rude."
I sometimes get foot cramps during sex. That's why I keep a tub of gatorade next to the bed. Also, I dump it over her head when I'm done. A victory is a victory.
"a family is a dictatorship ruled over by its sickest member." -unknown
Line I enjoy using: "I'm going to have to check with Alanis Morrisette, but I'm pretty sure that's ironic."
"The theater is not so much a profession as a disease, and my first look at Broadway was the beginning of a lifelong infection." -Moss Hart
Wow, Halloween is on a Friday the 13th this year!
Something weird about Piano's as a comedy venue. Even when packed the crowd can be surprisingly tight. Seen it a few times now. Hmm.
Last night I did a show with 14 comics on the bill. Does that sound like a bad idea? It was!
CK & Birbigs didn't get super personal until years in. Maybe you need to put in time doing observational stuff b4 going introspective?
was contacted about audition for a show. the role acc to casting agent: "imagine tom green humping a tank." um, i don't think i'll get it.
Non-Jews using Yiddish terms = fun. E.g. After a show, a girl told me, "I like your stick." Took me a sec to realize she meant schtick.
"pagans" = the go to reference for those w/ wacky relig beliefs. Yeah, a relig that believes in the sacredness of nature - craaaazy, huh!?
Conan O'Brien to Tom Scharpling: "Being the straight man is the hardest thing in comedy."
Twittering about Ponzi schemes, fashionably late, etc.
Follow me on Twitter to see what happens when I only have 140 characters to say something. For example:
I only post on rare occasions here now. Subscribe to my Rubesletter (it's at mattruby.substack.com ) to get jokes, videos, essays, etc...
Even the best standups seem to just scrape by. Then you hear about a guy who got a late night writing gig. Pay's nice. Long hours but he...
Patton Oswalt preaches love instead of hate in standup. “Actually, I think when you’re younger, anger and comedy mesh together very, very w...
Never been to a Letterman taping. But I've heard the studio is chilly due to Dave's orders. Was talking about it the other day with ...