12/20/07

Whistles

I'm jealous of women because they get to protect themselves against things they fear. For example, they can carry around a rape whistle. But I can't protect myself against what I fear. I can't carry around an intimacy whistle.

Her: I just want to lie here and cuddle with you all night long.
Me: [Whistle!] No means no! And if you mention "Bed, Bath, and Beyond," I'm breaking out the commitment spray.

Can't happen.

Moving on/Subscribe to my newsletter

I only post on rare occasions here now. Subscribe to my Rubesletter  (it's at  mattruby.substack.com ) to get jokes, videos, essays, etc...