12/10/07

Who's the bigger Hitler?

There was an interesting discussion at the Thanksgiving dinner I went to last year. The scene: Two women debate who's the bigger Hitler when it comes to preparing Thanksgiving dinner. "My kids say I'm such a Hitler because I have to have the turkey in the oven by 10am."

Really? See, I'm Jewish. In my house, no one ever compared themselves to Hitler. Especially not about how good they are at stuffing something into an oven. "Boy, the way you roast that carcass, you sure are like that evil dictator who murdered millions of people by roasting them in ovens. And then when you leave the gas on by accident, man, it's just like Auschwitz in here! And when you bury the bones in the backyard, try to fight a war on two fronts, and commit suicide in your underground bunker next to your girlfriend...that's all MUCHO Hitlery."

We don't reference other mass murderers this way. "Boy, your fridge is really stuffed...you are a regular Jeffrey Dahmer with the packed fridge!" Or "You always get to the airport so early...boy, you are such a Mohammed Atta that way. You are just a Bin Laden for advance planning."

Moving on/Subscribe to my newsletter

I only post on rare occasions here now. Subscribe to my Rubesletter  (it's at  mattruby.substack.com ) to get jokes, videos, essays, etc...