I hate it when people try to be funny in their Evite replies. When did this become the open mic of the invitation world? "Ooh, it's my big stage...Finally, I get to shine!" No, it's a fucking RSVP to a dipshit party...just chill.
But people can't resist: "The charges were dropped, i'll be there!" Oh, I get it. It's like you were going to be tried for a crime. But now they're not going to prosecute you anymore. So let's party. Funny stuff, man.
"Cinco de Mayo party...yo quiero tequila!" Thanks for pulling out the dated commercial tagline! What's next, a Spuds McKenzie reference? Yo quiero for you to not show up.
Even worse are people who feel like they have to reply with their whole life story. "I'm going to be coming back from Connecticut on Monday with the family, but I will hopefully be back in time to stop by. Trust me, if I can get away from the in-laws, I will! Last time we were there..."
Aaaaackh, just stop. No wants to read "War and Peace" here. It's a simple question being asked here: "Do I need to buy more beer or not?"
Sandpaper Suit is NYC standup comic Matt Ruby's (now defunct) comedy blog. Keep in touch: Sign up for Matt's weekly Rubesletter. Email mattruby@hey.com.
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