I decided I want to get better at doing stuff around the house. You know, painting fences, scrubbing decks, waxing cars, etc. So the super at my mom's housing development agreed to help me out and teach me this stuff.
So I went over to his house to start learning but he just started showing me karate moves. And I'm like, um, ok. But then for three days straight he had me doing nothing but karate moves. Finally, I was like, "Listen dude. I came hear to learn how to paint fences and scrub decks and wax cars, not do your karate for you!"
Anyone not see where this is going yet? I can continue if I have to. I can enter a car waxing competition against the evil car waxers from the other side of town. "Sweep the wrist, Johnny! Sweep the wrist!" There can be a sequel to this where I start scrubbing decks in Okinawa. Alas, I think that's enough though.
Sandpaper Suit is NYC standup comic Matt Ruby's (now defunct) comedy blog. Keep in touch: Sign up for Matt's weekly Rubesletter. Email email@example.com.
Painting fences, scrubbing decks, waxing cars, etc.
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