Video debut of The Hip Hop Pirate: East coast! West Coast! Barbary Coast!

Music and words by Matt Ruby, video shot and edited by Matt Lament.

Also, the HHP asked me to deliver this special message to y'all. Please forgive his salty tongue.


The Funky B.U.C. in the house. Spitting maritime knowledge and nautical know-how. Droppin' hit records like I drop anchor, son. You other pirates can't fuck with this.

Where my wenches at? Damn girl, I got a plank you can walk right here, baby. Aw shit. I ain't saying she a golddigger, but she ain't sailing on no merchant ship.

Let me get serious up in here. I got a message you all need to hear: George Bush does not care about pirates!

And know this: Captain Morgan is a weak ass bitch. Suck a dick, Morgan! O captain, my captain, you a bitch captain when it comes to rappin'. You actin' rough, but you about as tough actin' as Tinactin, Captain. That's athlete's foot medicine. You as tough as athlete's foot medicine. Which, in the big scheme of things, is not very tough. Fool. You better pray you don't sail up next to me or I'm gonna pop a cannon in yo ass.

Don't hate the saila', hate the seas. Now watch my video bitches. Peace.

Wow. Who knew he could even type with that hook on his hand? Impressive.

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6 Comment(s)

Blogger Paul Kelleher said...

This better get good and viral. That's fucking hilarious. Plug it into reddit and Nice fucking work.


12/18/08, 10:50 AM  
Blogger Abbi Crutchfield said...

I love the Funky Buccaneer! Please let me post the clip where the music wasn't working? It's like the hilarious behind the scenes.

12/30/08, 11:09 AM  
Blogger Matt Ruby said...

Ha. Sure, Abbi.

12/30/08, 11:12 AM  
Blogger Abbi Crutchfield said...


1/3/09, 3:40 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Did you steal this idea from Captain Dan?

This was posted two years ago.

1/8/09, 12:45 AM  
Blogger Matt Ruby said...

No, Anonymous, had never heard of Captain Dan.

1/8/09, 11:32 AM