I love listening to Howard Stern interviews. He likes to say, "You make a good point." Keeps the interviewee talking and feeling positive.
Why aren't there more stores that sell hotcakes?
Wallace Stevens: "Sometimes you must go too far to see what would suffice."
The germaphobe's worst fear: the office bathroom key. It's like a portable cesspool.
Suggestion to Hallmark for an anti-romantic card: "You're like a diamond, but without the dead Africans."
Hoping to use this phrase soon: "Don't paint stripes on a horse and tell me it's a zebra!"
Abandoned a lame mic last night. Sometimes sanity is better than stage time.
The problem with the movie "Comedian" = Orny Adams. Is it even possible to be more unlikable than that guy? Ugh.
Search queries from yesterday that led people to my blog: "tyra banks as a dinosaur" and "menudo Halloween Show in New England"
Shakespeare plots are curiously similar to the plots of Three's Company episodes. Someone overhears something wrong and then hijinx ensue.
There are too many comics out there doing card tricks. And not enough making the statue of liberty disappear.
You get the idea.