It's always exciting when you're on a packed subway car during morning rush hour and you spot an empty seat. But then you remember there's usually a reason why a seat is empty.
The other day this happened and on the seat were half-eaten chicken wings and a bottle of Aunt Jemima maple syrup...just spilling all over the seat. Like there was some guy going "What's the most disgusting combination of things I can leave here? Well, I'm out of bull semen and Crazy Glue, so I guess this combo is just gonna have to do!"
Wings and syrup, what a way for this guy to start the day. I know you're not supposed to miss breakfast...but I think the most important meal of the day is any one that you don't eat on the subway.
Come to think of it, an NYC subway stew sounds like a good idea. I think it'd include chicken wings, maple syrup, nail clippings, a rat, a condom, a rat inside a condom, and Jerry Orbach's eyes.
Sandpaper Suit is NYC standup comic Matt Ruby's (now defunct) comedy blog. Keep in touch: Sign up for Matt's weekly Rubesletter. Email firstname.lastname@example.org.
Heck of a subway spill
Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)
Moving on/Subscribe to my newsletter
I only post on rare occasions here now. Subscribe to my Rubesletter (it's at mattruby.substack.com ) to get jokes, videos, essays, etc...
Even the best standups seem to just scrape by. Then you hear about a guy who got a late night writing gig. Pay's nice. Long hours but he...
Patton Oswalt preaches love instead of hate in standup. “Actually, I think when you’re younger, anger and comedy mesh together very, very w...
Never been to a Letterman taping. But I've heard the studio is chilly due to Dave's orders. Was talking about it the other day with ...
Post a Comment