Recent Twitter favorites

Follow me at Twitter and you'll get musings like these...

If I was a DJ, my DJ name would be Brass Tacks. And my flyers would say "Let's get down to Brass Tacks."

Darwinism fail: The most attractive people are NOT having the most children. (source: me after a weekend of tot-related events)

Please, no more jokes about 1) pagers and 2) 401k meaning $401,000. We GET it.

Audience etiquette card on the tables at Laugh Riot at the Hyatt show in Bethesda - good idea.

My sister has leopard skin wallpaper in her bathroom. We are a CLASSY family.

I am hosting a show in the back of a sushi bar tonight. I guarantee you it will be raw.

Heavy drinkers hate New Year's Eve cuz it's "amateur night." Shouldn't stoners feel the same way about 4/20? And when is shroomer's day?

Wanna offend an indie rock snob? Misprounounce the name of The MC5 as if it's a McDonald's product: "My favorite band ever is The McFive!"

I don't care who your favorite Beatle is. As long as your least favorite Beatle is Paul. What a dick.

Jews are good at banking b/c Christians felt it was a dirty job. Hating 'em for it is like hating Mexicans for being good at washing dishes.

I don't understand people who get offended. If someone is wrong, they're stupid. Just ignore 'em. If someone is right, well, they're right.

I think astrology is for silly people. Do you really think everyone born within the same month as you has identical personality traits!?

I think the anarchist movement would go a lot further if it had a strong leader.

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