You still hear morons say things like, "I hate faggots. I like WOMEN!" Sorry dude, if you hate gay men, then you hate women too. 'Cuz they are totally into the same things. Who likes fashion? Gay men and women. Who likes appletinis? Gay men and women. Who likes cock? You got it.
When you think about it, girls are total faggots. You can not get more faggoty than a girl. Even the draggiest of drag queens isn't 1% as faggy as someone with a vagina. Not even close.
And you know how some people are mad at illegal immigrants for stealing jobs? If that makes any sense, you know who should hate gay men the most? Women! Think about all the jobs gay men have stolen from women over the years. Hair stylist. Interior decorator. Gay men are the Mexicans of fashion! Forget Texas and Arizona, ladies...build a wall around Chelsea. That's where they're coming from. Protect that border. You're about to lose flight attendants and florists.
Sandpaper Suit is NYC standup comic Matt Ruby's (now defunct) comedy blog. Keep in touch: Sign up for Matt's weekly Rubesletter. Email mattruby@hey.com.
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5 comments:
Unfortunately, flight attendants might be able to fly over the wall they build around Chelsea.
And the florists will plant vines that will climb the walls so they can escape as well. (That's how floristry works, in superhero scenarios, right? Also, "floristry"?)
But seriously, if women want a wall built around Chelsea to keep the gays in, who are they going to get to decorate that wall.
(Answer: gays on the inside, and women on the outside. Go Team Floristry!)
I like being helpful and/or talkative.
also, gays have taken over the price is right. have you ever noticed how good they are on that show? they get prices down to the cent! a bottle of fantastik? $8.31...marc jacobs sunglasses? $107.34..three butt plugs and this new blender? $49.87, Drew!
I sir am no woman! Nor am I that fashionable and I'm often grossed out by the dick. Although I will say that I do enjoy fruity drinks.. 1 out of 3 ain't bad!
Do you really think all gays are hairsylists and decorators? I'm uhh a computer programmer... There were a lot of gay developers, testers and project managers back at microsoft (where I was an intern during my college years)--
"Do you really think all gays are hairsylists and decorators?"
Of course not. I do think a lot of male stylists and decorators are gay, though.
Your offensive and idiotic ideas are made current and funny over and over again by myq! Yay for myq!
Seriously, why do you think it's so hilarious to live in 1953? It's not funny, dude. Write a sexist joke that's actually funny and I'll be on your side, but a joke that relies on women and gay men only having "feminine" jobs is a lame, throwback trope that makes you sound like a desperate hack that's livin' in the past.
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