I am answering questions this week at stupidassquestions.com

All this week I am answering stupid ass questions over at stupidassquestions.com. These questions were pretty damn stupid. I answered appropriately. Here's the one that ran today:

Question: Every morning I make coffee and take it to work. However, this morning I bought a large coffee from a well know drive thru restaurant because they advertise that their coffee will wake you up to a good morning. Well, neither has it woken me up or is it a good morning. Do you think I could sue them for false advertising?

Answer: I think you could sue them. I don't think you'd win though. See, it's kinda tough to prove whether or not something has woken you up or given you a good morning. Especially in a court of law. It's not like there's some DUI-type measurement device that will report back "This guy is .14 tired still. Give him money!" Maybe you should lay off the caffeine anyway. Get some sleep. And stop trying to sue people all the time. Actually, I'd sue you if I could. We should not be friends. Unless you have a dog. I was just in the park and they let people take their dogs "off leash" after 9pm. So all the dogs can run around and sniff each other. You know they can tell a lot about each other just by sniffing each other's bums! Too bad humans can't do that. Well, maybe we can but we just don't try. So if you had a dog and maybe I'd take him to the park once in a while then I suppose we could hang out. But don't sue me if some other dog bites your dog or something. I can't be responsible for that. Do you watch Dog Whisperer? You probably should. Cesar Milan is pretty great. Wisest man on the TV if you ask me. So to answer your question: Exercise, discipline, and then affection!


YouJean Chang said...

Ha! Kind of reminds me of Yahoo!Answers. That is a treasure trove of stupid questions warranting smart ass replies.

Abbi Crutchfield said...

This is hilarious! Also a good platform from which to nonchalantly dive into material.

If I smelled the seat of someone's jeans, and it was NOT rank, I'd be so relieved I'd probably jump around with enthusiasm and then playfully bite them on the shoulder.

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