I was at a strange bar in Williamsburg the other night. Hip crowd there. It was the kinda place where I couldn't tell if people were having fun or making fun of having fun.
There was a woman knitting in the corner. Cuz that's a fun thing to do at a bar? She was sitting with a guy who was rolling his own cigarettes. Which makes them pretty much the perfect couple. Just imagine the pickup: "Well hello. Do you like wasting time doing things science solved centuries ago?" "Do I ever! Here's a tin can and a string. Give me a call!"
And next to them was a guy talking all about being a vegan and an animal rights activist. But then he got up to play a game of Big Buck Hunter Pro. So he hates killing animals, but his favorite game involves blowing up Bambis with a plastic rifle!?
Pretty hypocritical. Say what you want about rednecks, at least they genuinely hate the things they hate. It's not like there's a bar in rural Mississippi where some guy is all "I hate queers! But let's play a game of Gay Pride Parade Pro! It's the best. Ya grab this giant dildo and then you shoot rainbows at Judy Garland impostors. Last night I almost made the Liberace Level! Yeehaw!" Don't think that's happening.
So, um, give it up for...genuine hatred!? Hmm, that's a strange thing to be in favor of, but, well, there ya go.
Sandpaper Suit is NYC standup comic Matt Ruby's (now defunct) comedy blog. Keep in touch: Sign up for Matt's weekly Rubesletter. Email email@example.com.
Rednecks vs. Big Buck Hunter Pro hypocrites
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I think you're touching on why people love Jersey Shore. Those people are what they are, and proud of it. As my college roommate (who hailed from Jerz) used to say, "I am who I am, without apologies." Very refreshing.
Cigarette thing is tough. Some people might assume it looks cooler to roll their own. At the same time buying rolling tobacco gives you more cigarettes for the same unreasonable price of buying a pack. It doesnt matter anyway.
I do get sick of people calling me a hypocrite when I play a game about hunting animals and I'm a vegetarian. It's simulated, that's the point. I also like and support not killing people but I love to play WWII shooters and occasionally aim for Nazi balls when the urge strikes.
I don't really care that much either way, but just remember the righteous, chest-pounding vegetarians are the minority. Most of us just want you to work out your guilt somewhere else other than picking apart our lifestyles. If you want loud- mouthed vegetarians to fuck off, imagine how we feel about you.
That being said I like your blog alot, I'm just pissy because I haven't rolled a cigarette yet today.
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