Burlesque shows are silly, not sexy

I think burlesque shows are silly, not sexy. If you've never been, burlesque is stripping...but for girls who went to art school.

I guess that's great if you like to see chicks named Misty Kitten, Penny Butterscotch, or Dirty Martini play the spoons while shaking their cellulite. But to me, it's a festival of things that are not quite what you want them to be: The girls aren't quite that attractive. And they don't quite get naked. And they don't quite have a real talent. But it's ok because they're performing for a bunch of guys who don't quite have the balls (or money) to go to a real strip club.

I find this quite offensive. Not as a feminist, but as someone who enjoys real strip clubs.

See, I subscribe to the philosophy that two wrongs don't make a right. So if I don't want to see a chunky girl in a bikini and I don't want to see her hula hoop, then I really don't want to see both at the same time.

I'm just not looking for intellectual stimulation or artistic integrity from a stripper. I'm not trying to write a thesis, I'm trying to get a boner. That's why I want a girl who shakes her tits like she's illiterate. (Btw, that's going to be the name of my first hip hop single: "Shake Ur Tits Like U Illiterate"). I think stripping should be about degradation, not deconstruction. I'm old fashioned that way.

Labels: ha

Permalink | 1/17/2008