Stitch and bitch bitching

Memo to people who knit on the subway: You realize we've solved this problem, right? We have people in Bangladesh who can do that for you. It's true, you can buy a scarf for $10 from The Gap instead of spending 400 hours making your own. What other medieval things do you do for fun?...Carry water from the well?...Catch bubonic plague?

Memo to guys who paint themselves silver and stand like statues in parks: This is not a real talent. If you're a performer, perform! Just because you cover yourself in spray paint, stand on a box, and do nothing does not mean you deserve to get paid for it. You're just shiny and doing nothing. If this deserved compensation, office workers could just put on a bunch of glitter, show up at work, and pass out at their desks. I tried that once, didn't work out so well.