Podcast: We're All Friends Here highlight show

The latest We're All Friends Here podcast is now available. It's a "best of the past year" clip show featuring Kevin Barnett, Mike Lawrence, Ray Combs Jr. and some other stuff.

Hot Soup with James Adomian and more

Friday's (11/19) lineup:
James Adomian
Reese Waters
Harrison Greenbaum
Ross Parsons

Hot Soup!
Every Friday at 8pm
FREE SHOW
O'Hanlon's (back room)
349 E 14th St between 1st and 2nd Ave. (map)
Produced by Matt Ruby, Mark Normand, Andy Haynes, and David Cope

Nipples, CK, and Smigel

During his WTF interview, Louis CK talked about the outrageous "Nipples" sketch that launched (and perhaps doomed) The Dana Carvey Show. Here it is:



Robert Smigel explains:

Louis C.K. had that notion. We had a simple sketch where Clinton was just—I thought Dana did a great Clinton, and I wanted to get it out there. Dana had a funny notion about Clinton trying hard not to laugh at the paltry competition that he faced in 1996. And then Louis separately had this funny notion that led to the breast-feeding, but it came out of a more subtle observation about Clinton: that he saw himself as this nurturing president. And at the time, Hillary was incredibly unpopular, so Louis had this idea that Clinton would, you know… It was more of a play on the “I feel your pain” act that Clinton had perfected by 1996. We weren’t all about, “Oh, this is gonna be gross, ha-ha, people are gonna be freaked out.” I took it too far. He had the breast-feeding idea, and then I came up with the multiple nipples and the puppies and kittens, because of my animal obsession that haunts me to this day.

Btw, here's the writing staff of the show. [via HS]

What you think after losing a comedy contest

Really? I didn't make it. I was funnier than that guy. And these other people who are telling me they thought I was gonna make it for sure...are they just being polite? Hmm.

It was that one joke that didn't hit as hard as it usually does. Or maybe I should have closed with that other joke. Maybe it's where I went in the night. Maybe I need to open with something more personal so I'm clearly defined in the audience's eyes right off the bat. Maybe I shouldn't have told that dirty joke. Maybe I need to just tell all my quickest-to-the-punch jokes in a row.

Judging art is silly anyway. Imagine if someone forced you to pick between the Beatles and the Stones.

Plus, comedy has a measurement. Laughs. If you get 'em, you did your job.

Well, there is more to it than that. You can get laughs with dick jokes or by being a kooky character. But I want to say something I care about onstage. One-liner guys do great at these contests. But I don't want to just be clever and that's it. Sure, I appreciate a well-crafted one-liner. But to me, I'd rather have some point of view or emotional content or genuine passion. But getting that across in five minutes is tough. A great comedian comedian is different than a great contest comedian.

But let's be honest. It wasn't all one-liner guys. The guy who won it all killed it. Applause breaks on literally every joke. Snowball down a hill momentum. It was a no-brainer that he should move on. And that's why he won it all.

I guess that's the lesson, if there is one. Just be even funnier. Write even more jokes. Good enough isn't good enough when you're competing against great comics.

Or maybe I just need to compete against myself. Is my contest set better than the last contest set I did? If so, that's success. Just keep getting better. As another comic said to me recently, "Comedy is like golf. It isn't about competing against others. It's about competing against the course." I liked that. Well, except for the fact that golf is, well, totally about competing against others. Hmm.

Hot Soup tonight!

FRI (11/12): HOT SOUP
8:00pm - Free
O'Hanlon's Bar - 349 E 14th St between 1st and 2nd Ave.

Adrienne Iapalucci
Damien Lemon
Nick Turner
...and more

I'm hosting. Yeehaw.

Science solves Steven Wright

Steven Wright:

For my birthday I got a humidifier and a dehumidifier...I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.

Classic. But which would actually win out? Enter science!

It would depend on the capacity (output) of each machine, but eventually the dehumidifier would win. Humidifiers need a water supply and eventually run dry. The dehumidifier just needs power to keep working.

Glad we got that solved. Now someone tell me what really happens when your apartment is infested with koala bears.

In the Tank's Giraldo tribute is super

Episode 304 | Greg Giraldo Tribute of In the Tank is really cool.

We set up at the Olive Tree Café above the Comedy Cellar and asked people from the Comedy Community to share a few words, a story, a favorite bit of Gregs. We did the same at Comix Comedy Club and finally with Jesse Joyce and Ted Alexandro in Astoria.

It's cool to hear all the guys who knew/worked with Greg talking about why they loved him. Also worth noting how much of the talk was about what a good guy Greg was and how supportive he was of his peers and not just how funny he was onstage.

For example, I loved Jeselnik's tale of having to do a warm up set for the Hasselhoff roast (a thankless task made even worse by the fact that it's a room filled with industry folks). Giraldo, knowing the situation, made sure to give him a standing o when he came out and laughed hard/cheered him on during his set. Jeselnik truly appreciated it. (It was the last time he ever saw him.)

Was actually talking last night about Giraldo with Sam Morril who is/was a huge fan. I thought he had a good point: Some standups go out there and try to prove how smart they are. But Giraldo, clearly a smart dude/grad of Harvard Law, never did that. He never got preachy. He never used a big word when a small one would do. He never tried to go for applause over laughs while making a political point. When you're really smart, you don't need to make a show of it.

Diamonds In The Rough interview with Mitch Hedberg

Mitch talking about comedy back in the day. Great listening to him open up.









[Thx MN]

The problem with news

Election season! Did you vote for the "I want my mommy" party or the "I want my daddy" party? I just want them to get back together and tell me it wasn't my fault.

I actually watched the TV news to see what happened. Big mistake. I'm realizing the problem with TV news: It spends way too much time asking viewers what we think. Um, we're a bunch of idiots. So you really don't need give us an endless stream of silly poll questions. "Four police officers were shot in Staten Island last night. Do YOU think this happened? 54% of you said no. 31% said Lindsay Lohan. We're not sure why that was an option."

And I love when CNN reads Twitter messages on the news. Yes, that's actually a thing that happens. Because you know, nothing's more newsworthy than random anonymous opinions from the internet. I'm trying to imagine them finding something LOWER on the information totem pole to share. "Coming up after the break: The financial crisis in Europe...What does the bathroom graffiti at Dempsey's pub have to say about it? We'll get to the bottom of it!"

I'm gonna stick to getting my information from a resource I can trust: YouTube video comments.

Friday night: Hot Soup with Murderfist and Vatterott

FRI (11/5): HOT SOUP
8:00pm - Free
O'Hanlon's Bar - 349 E 14th St between 1st and 2nd Ave.

Nick Vatterott
Murderfist
Raj Desai
Barry Rothbart

Andy's hosting, I'm doing a spot.

My other upcoming shows:
11/7 - 8pm - Sunday Night Standup @ Three of Cups (NYC)
11/8 - 9pm - Boston Comedy Festival Stand Up Comedy Contest @ Hard Rock Café (Boston)

Btw, last week's Hot Soup anniversary was a blast. Thanks to everyone who turned out and packed the house. Jim Gaffigan stopped by to talk about whales — here's a blurry pic of that. (It's like Big Foot! Or is it Bigfoot? Hmm, apparently my knowledge of how to spell that word is a bit blurry. Anyway...)



And do you know about the boo off? We invite "terrible" performers onstage and then encourage the crowd to boo. Here's sketch group Fuckleberry Finn (aka Meatsteak) booing it up at the anniversary show:



You can check out MEATSTEAK IS DEAD at The Creek and The Cave in LIC on Nov 20.

Writing on Norm MacDonald's new sports-themed show

Interesting comments rolling in to yesterday's What goes into a comedy writing packet post. Luke Cunningham is currently writing on a new sports-themed Norm MacDonald show in LA and posted this:

I'm currently writing on the new Sports Show with Norm MacDonald in LA. It's like the Daily Show but about sports.

I was asked to submit a 3 page packet of topical material with a 48-hour turnaround. This was a Friday. It was due Sunday. I had a gig hosting at Helium in Philadelphia that weekend. I would come off-stage and immediately get working on it. What I ended up doing was mixing my best stand-up jokes and lines into topical material.

Now that I'm here and writing, here's how it works:
- Every morning, I get a packet of 9-10 pages of topical stories from the Writers' Assistant. I'm expected to go through the 9-10 pages and write jokes underneath each story in Norm's voice.
- By 2PM, we meet in the Writers' Room and table the jokes. Norm picks what he likes.
- Then we go back and punch up those jokes to be re-tabled at around 5.
- We are also putting together segment ideas through the day which get tabled at the same time as the later meeting.
- It's 12 hours/day and mentally exhausting but I've loved every minute of it.
- I have no idea if every show works this way.

Networks and agents are much more interested in original scripts then spec scripts right now. Though I've been told that the paradigm swings back and forth every few seasons.

Then I asked Luke how they found out about him.

I worked as an assistant on "Important Things with Demetri Martin." Was referred by that producer...They took my packet. I made it to the final 12. Had to go to LA to interview with Norm and the showrunner...Key in those meetings is NOT being on. They think you'll be annoying in the writers' room.

Good life lesson there: Unless you're onstage, don't try too hard to be on. It's just annoying.

Thanks for the details, Luke.

What goes into a comedy writing packet

Even the best standups seem to just scrape by. Then you hear about a guy who got a late night writing gig. Pay's nice. Long hours but hey, it's a gig. Plus it's a credit.

So how do you get on that gravy train? Do you even want to? First you need writing samples ready to go. Kent Haines discusses how Donald Glover got an email from the producer of 30 Rock one night (that happens to you too, right?) and sent over scripts he had ready to go.

As Donald tells it, he just got an email from the producer of 30 Rock asking to see some of his material. So Donald replied that night with two spec scripts and a bunch of his sketches, and he was hired almost immediately.

When I hear that story, it sounds like a classic overnight success, the sort of thing that could happen to anyone. But it couldn’t. Because Donald had two spec scripts just sitting on his hard drive. Two spec scripts that were good enough to impress the best writers on television. Sure, he got a great opportunity. But he only succeeded because he was ready.

And that’s the problem for me. Because I don’t have two spec scripts. I don’t even have one. If I got that email today, I would be absolutely unprepared to impress anyone with my writing skills.

Don't expect to put together a killer packet overnight either. TV writer Dan French talks about what you need to get hired in How Do I Get Your Job? Some excerpts:

So there aren't many jobs. Less than 100 total talk show jobs, maybe another 50 asundry game show jobs...

It's a good question, because, you see, comedy writers write. Every day. Hours on end. They generate piles and piles of useable, polished material. Comedy writers are obsessive about generating new material, with reworking old material. They have big comedy muscles that don't get tired from generating day after day after day, for hours on end...

I constantly get asked about what goes into a writing packet. The useless but most truthful answer is that it doesn’t matter as long as it's great. It can be sketches, top lists, jokes, columns, standup, etc. It doesn't matter so much what it is, just that it shows that you are drop dead, unquestionably, and forever funny...

The honest part of putting together your writing sample is that you have to work on it not over the course of a weekend when someone asks to see your stuff, but every single week over the course of a couple of years. You want every joke to burst off the page. Those types of jokes don't come out in a week. They pop into your head once a month, if you're lucky.

By far the most common mistake I see beginning writers make is to not have great samples ready when asked. Instead, comics try to throw together stuff in a single night, and it comes out a mixed bag of weak jokes and strong jokes. It comes out not good enough to impress...

My writing packet is a result of four years of daily joke writing, all of which I've reworked and rewritten on my own hundreds of times, and which I've also shown to friends and professional writers who have given me suggestions and led me away from bad choices.

Sounds like a haul. And tough odds. But I guess that's true about most things worth doing in life.

Fwiw, The PIT in NYC offers classes on writing for late night shows.

Want to learn how to write for a late-night show like the ones hosted by Jay Leno, David Letterman, Conan O’Brien, Jimmy Kimmel, Craig Ferguson, and Jimmy Fallon? This class will teach you how. Through easy-to-understand instruction, writing exercises, and constructive feedback you'll learn how to craft monologue jokes, desk pieces, sketches, reality-based comedy segments, and more. This class will give you all the tools you need to put together a strong submission packet for the comedy-variety show of your choice. You'll also pick up skills you can use in writing comedy for game shows, reality shows, and other formats.

I heard someone mention once that you can find sample writing packets online. Anyone got a link?

Mindy Tucker's photos from Schtick or Treat

Mindy Tucker of With Reservation has a great set of photos from Schtick or Treat.


Eddie in red.


Can we talk?


Andy/Tony.


Not receiving respect.


Candy falls out of Louie Anderson's hat.


Hideous monster or Lisa Lampanelli?




Soupy Sales gets pied.

More shots.

I know what it feels like to be a beautiful woman

See, I'm at a bar recently. A bus boy comes out from the back with a pizza. But he doesn't know who ordered it. So he just starts making eye contact with everyone in the room trying to figure out who ordered this pizza. And then he locks eyes with me. And I lock eyes with him. And he looks at his pizza and up at me hopefully. And then I realize what's going on. Uh oh. I don't want pizza. So I just shake my head, look at the ground, and shuffle off to the corner.

And I realize something. That feeling, that moment — that's how beautiful women feel all the time. Like every man in the world is trying to deliver a pizza they didn't order.

I think it's tough for guys to imagine what this is like. Think of it this way fellas: Imagine if every time you made eye contact with someone, they offered you a pizza. At first, you'd be all "Hey, that sounds great. I like pizza!" But that'd fade quickly. Soon you'd be saying, "Look, I'm just trying to get to work. And even if I was hungry, I wouldn't want your homeless man pizza!" Or you go to the club and everyone's pushing their pizza up against you. And some guy says, "Come back to VIP, we got bottles of oregano." And finally you get fed up and shout, "I don't want any pizza!" And a dude in the back goes, "Oh yeah? Then maybe you shouldn't have *dressed* like you wanted pizza!"

It was good

Thanks to everyone who came out and watched or performed at Schtick or Treat. It was a blast.

The arc of a comedy career and the difference between impersonating/being a comedian

Chatted with another comic recently about how family is often considered the best thing to focus on first for material. That's stuff that will always be unique to you, good for TV sets, etc.

Jon Stewart recently sat down with Terry Gross and offered up similar thoughts.

A comedian's first 15 minutes is typically about his life. Your first joke is usually who you are. "I'm a Jew who was raised in New Jersey" joke. And then you work through your family and you basically go through your entire history with them. And you sit and stare at them but they're not doing much. So you have to then spread out.

So your next jokes usually come from where you go on the road. So I've taken my act about being a Jew from New Jersey to Tennessee. Want to hear about Tennessee? And that's your next act. Your next act is about your life as a comedian.

And then when that's exhausted, you tend to turn your vision to the world. And that becomes your tableau for your career.

Of course, if you're an observational comic or do a character or whatever, it's a different path.

Stewart also mentioned what he learned doing the final set at 2am at The Cellar every night:

I learned the difference between impersonating a comedian and being a comedian. And that was my break, learning how to be authentic. Not to the audience, but to myself. I developed a baseline of not only confidence, but insecurity. I knew how bad I was and I knew how good I was.

Reminds me of Woody Allen's idea of being a funny person, not having funny material.

What a week...The 3rd Annual Schtick Or Treat and Hot Soup's 1 Year Anniversary Show!

Two amazing shows this week (Wed/Fri)...

Wednesday (10/27): Schtick or Treat @ Arlene’s Grocery

The 3rd Annual Schtick Or Treat
A pre-Halloween show of comedy “legends”
WED 10/27 @ Arlene’s Grocery
Doors: 7pm, showtime: 7:30pm sharp
Tickets: $8
95 Stanton Street (btwn Ludlow/Orchard), NYC
Map
Facebook invite

Here we go again! The idea: It's a quick turnover night where 30+ NYC comics get two minutes each to do a set as a famous comic. Standing room only two years in a row – def one of the funnest shows to watch.

On the bill this year:
Me as Andrew Dice Clay
Mark Normand as Norm Macdonald
George Gordon as Eddie Murphy
Matt McCarthy as Bill Hicks
Erik Bergstrom as Lisa Lampanelli
Laura Prangley as Joan Rivers
Jared Logan as Soupy Sales
Dan Soder as Rodney Dangerfield
Nick Turner and Ariel Bitran as Tenacious D
...and lots more!

Full lineup and video from last year's show here. And now there's even an LA version of the show.

Friday (10/29): Hot Soup's 1 Year Anniversary Show @ O'Hanlons

Whoa, it's already been a year of Hot Soupness. Crazy how time flies when you're addicted to oxycontin. We're gonna celebrate with a blowout show this Friday at O'Hanlons. Four of the best comics in NYC (really) and all four Hot Soupers will be doing sets too.

Lineup:
Reggie Watts (opened for Conan on his tour, Late Night with Jimmy Fallon)
Hannibal Burress (30 Rock, SNL, all kinds of TV)
Sean Patton (Comedy Central, Late Night with Jimmy Fallon)
Jesse Popp (Comedy Central)

Seats will go fast so get there early. I'll be hosting.

Hot Soup
1-Year Anniversary Show!
FRI 10/29 @ O'Hanlons - 8pm
349 E 14th St (btwn 1st and 2nd Ave) in NYC

Some of the comedy legends appearing at Wednesday's Schtick Or Treat

The 3rd Annual Schtick Or Treat is this Wednesday at Arlene’s Grocery. Doors: 7pm, showtime: 7:30pm sharp.

Some of the "performers" you'll see...













...and lots more! Full lineup, details, and a video from last year's show.

Chopping Broccoli, from audition to sketch

From audition...



...to SNL sketch.



Love the reaction shot from Phil Hartman.

New episodes of We're All Friends Here on Breakthru Radio

The two latest episodes of We're All Friends Here on Breakthru Radio are now available. View in iTunes.

The first one is 09/21/10 featuring Tom Sibley, Calise Hawkins, and Jonathan Powley. It's antagonistic. The latest is 10/19/10 with Jason Saenz, Doug Smith, and Anthony Devito. That one's scarrific.

Judd Apatow's "most personal moment" on Freaks and Geeks

Marc Maron's been killing it on WTF lately. The Judd Apatow two-parter (one/two) was really interesting since he included clips of a teen Apatow interviewing comics like Seinfeld, Leno, and Shandling. Leno said he'd think of a joke during the day and then go on Letterman's show and do it that night.

This book edited by Apatow sounds interesting: "I Found This Funny: My Favorite Pieces of Humor and Some That May Not Be Funny At All." It's out now.

In another interview (and on WTF), Apatow talks about his "most personal moment" on Freaks and Geeks. (See clip below.)

When I was a kid I used to go home every day and my friends would play sports. While they would have football practice, I would watch the Dinah Shore show and the Mike Douglas show and the early “Love Connection,” and I would make a grilled-cheese sandwich and chocolate cake, and I would watch TV straight through until Letterman was over at 1:30 in the morning. In high school! And I did that way too often. And that’s my most personal moment on the show. There’s a little bit of that everywhere...All the writers contributed these horror stories from their youth, and we put them into the show. Most of it happened to someone on the show.

FYI, here's a clip of Shandling from around that time:



Apatow names Fast Times at Ridgemont High and Terms of Endearment as two of his fave movies. Here's Ebert's review of Terms of Endearment.

The most remarkable achievement of "Terms of Endearment," which is filled with great achievements, is its ability to find the balance between the funny and the sad, between moments of deep truth and other moments of high ridiculousness. A lesser movie would have had trouble moving between the extremes that are visited by this film, but because "Terms of Endearment" understands its characters and loves them, we never have a moment's doubt: What happens next is supposed to happen. because life's like that.

Funny/sad. Because life's like that. Watched it recently. Def seems like it influenced Apatow's Funny People.

Btw, Birbigs namechecks similar folks here when discussing his influences:

The movies of Woody Allen and James Brooks, and recently Cameron Crowe and Judd Apatow, and the books of David Sedaris and David Foster Wallace and Sarah Vowell and the plays of Kenneth Lonergan. So you get inspired by what you get inspired by. In stand-up, Pryor and Seinfeld.

Kombucha, method acting, "Let the River Run," etc.

What have I been posting about at Twitter? I'm glad you asked!

I am really into Rom Coms. Y'know, Romanian Communists.

NY Post headline writer's wet dream: A Buddhist monk caught committing armed robbery. Resulting headline = "Felonious Monk!"

Kombucha is really tasty if you like fruit juice with a nice lil' splash of aftertaste vomit.

Me to real estate agent: "Pardon me, sir, how do I get to Carnegie Hall?" His reply: "Location, location, location."

Method actor? Pshaw. Be a rhythm method actor: No acting on days 8-19 of each month. After that, act inside whatever you want!

Angelina Jolie is like a crazy cat lady, but with third world babies instead of cats.

Apparently this is a bad thing to say to a friend: "If you need a list of topics you should discuss with your therapist, let me know."

There's never been an accountant with dreadlocks.

Only young people like sweet drinks, like Absolut Raspberry. Old people don't need vodka infused with anything except broken dreams.

Watching "Working Girl." That song "Let the River Run"...is that about menstruation? After all, that is truly the sign of a working girl.

People keep telling me I look like Dexter. I need to stop murdering.

More at twitter.com/mattruby.

Recap of shows from my recent trip out west

Didn't get a chance to recap my recent trip out west yet. Here goes:

Victoria, BC
Started out in Victoria, BC. Great show at a place called Heckler's. A bit worrisome at first since ya walk in and it's a sports bar filled with people eating and big screens on all over the place. But at 9pm the lights go down, the TVs go off, and the place morphs nicely into a venue.

Of course it's a terrible name for a place but I will say they have the best pre-show announcement I've ever heard to get people to shut up and turn off cellphones. It's a pre-recorded bit that explains that even though the name is Heckler's that doesn't mean you should yell shit out. And then it explains what the rest of the crowd will think if ya do (via an act out by a good voiceover guy). The whole thing lays out, in a fun way, that you're a dick if you say anything or let your phone ring. Effective.

Crowd was probably 200-300 strong and they were into it right out of the gate. I opened by riffing on something the MC said and the Hamburger Challenge on the menu (one of those 2 lb. burger "you get a free meal if you agree to have a heart attack" deals). There was a Big Buck Hunter Pro game right next to stage so I moved my bit about that to the front of my set. Always fun when you can take an established bit and make it seem like something that just came to you.

I wound up doing 37 minutes total and it felt great. So nice to be able to do that much time in front a big crowd (in NYC, I rarely get spots longer than 15 mins). A big crowd is a different animal. It starts to feel like a single organism instead of individuals. And the long set means you can actually get a fleshed out identity across (tougher to do that in quick sets). I felt like a real performer that night which is a feeling I don't get in NYC very often.

In NYC, crowd reactions often make it feel like you're trying to take a dog on a walk when he doesn't want to go anywhere. Sure, you can get somewhere if you yank the leash hard enough. But it's a struggle. You can't use pauses and timing the way you can in other places. You need to keep slapping 'em in the face.

This was different. It was a crowd of hundreds who were out to have a good time and excited to be there. I have one joke about my mom being paralyzed in the final years of her life. It can be iffy due to the subject matter, but it got the biggest reaction it's ever gotten that night. I had to wait 10 seconds before I could even go on to the next bit. I just kept saying a single word from the punch ("never") over and over while waiting for the laughs to die down.

Anyway, nights like that make all the heavy lifting and shitty shows in NYC seem worth it.

Vancouver, BC
My next two shows were in Vancouver. Smaller gigs with shorter sets, but still fun. At first one, the comics stood in a paneled box at the front of the room. My opener: "I know you guys like hockey, but I didn't expect to be performing in a penalty box." The next night I followed a gal comic and a dude in the front row yelled out at her "show us your tits." I guess some things transcend borders.

It's interesting to perform in Canada because you have to start thinking about cultural references they may not get. Things I now know: They don't have Luna Bars. They don't know the game Fuck, Marry, Kill. They don't know what an Uncle Tom is. It's not Native Americans, it's First Nations.

And I said 6'8" in one bit and then I'm like, wait, how many centimeters is that? Some guy yells out 203. I continued on but said 203 meters instead. Then I realized that'd be one huge dude. At that point, I just segued into talking about how dumb I feel as an American sometimes.

Seattle
After that, I took the bus to Seattle. First show there was a benefit show where the charity group forgot to promote it so there were just seven folks in the crowd. One thing about NYC "training": I am SO comfortable performing in front of a group of seven people. A depressing skill to have, in a way, but also nice to not be someone pushing jokes hard to folks who are like "Why is this guy pretending that what's happening isn't actually happening?"

I began with something like: "Comedy is best when the audience is unified as a group on a positive wavelength. You guys definitely feel unified...but it feels more like the unity of a group of people who have been taken hostage. It's a unity that says, 'We're going to get through this together.'" At least it was real.

Next show was a mic. Always surprises me when I do mics in other cities and there are actual audience members there. I went up last but got to do about 20 minutes and talked about some of the other comics who had performed that night (always a fun thing to do at mics since they attract, um, a fringe element).

Then went into material. At mics in NYC, I try new stuff. But there I kept to jokes that work already. It was all new to them and I wanted to make a good impression since there were a bunch of decent comics there too. One good thing about a mic is you get to meet a bunch of comics in that place. Not always doable at regular shows.

Then I did a weekend of guest sets at the Seattle Comedy Underground, four shows in all. The good about that: Shows were packed, esp on Saturday night. The not so good: I was doing quick 5 min sets, all clean, and as the first comic onstage (no host). Still fun but felt rushed. That's a great club though.

And now I've been back in NYC for a bit. Great to be back but it sure is nice to tell jokes elsewhere every once in a while.

Doug Smith added to Saturday's We're All Friends Here

Lineup change! Just added to the show on Sat: Doug Smith (hero who saved damsel in distress/the white scarface)!!!! Show details.

CC Insider on what happened...

Just a few days ago, up and coming New York comedian Doug Smith did something truly heroic. In the 2nd Avenue station, he saw a woman being accosted by a man possibly attempting to sexually assault her. Doug stepped in to help, and the attacker took a box-cutter to his face. Doug now has 25 stitches across his face.

We'll find out all about it.

This week: We're All Friends Here, Hot Soup, Holiday Cocktail Lounge

Free shows I'm doing this week:

WED 10/13 - "Our Amazing Show!" @ Holiday Cocktail Lounge - 7pm
75 St. Mark's Place (btwn 1st Ave & 2nd Ave)
Facebook invite

FRI 10/15 - Hot Soup @ O'Hanlons - 8pm
Guests: Rory Scovel, Carmen Lynch, Damien Lemon, Michael Che
I'm hosting, Cope is doing a spot
349 E 14th St (btwn 1st and 2nd Ave) in NYC
Facebook invite

SAT 10/16: We're All Friends Here @ The Creek - 8pm
Guests: Doug Smith, Jason Saenz, Anthony Devito (Damien Lemon on the next show)
10-93 Jackson Ave.
Long Island City, Queens (1 stop from Manhattan/Brooklyn)
Facebook invite

Escape hatches, showing your notebook, and how to craft an act

Chris Hardwick wrote a piece for Wired a few months back called Crafting a Joke: The Arc of an Act. It's a good/quick read with interesting quotes from other comics along the way.

B. J. Novak says comedians naturally gravitate toward the laughs. “Only say what you think is funny,” he says. “Only keep what they think is funny.”

Jim Gaffigan says he and his wife spend hours ripping apart a topic for jokes. “There can even be some that aren’t A’s, but within the context of other jokes they can survive. That’s how George Carlin did things,” Gaffigan says. “It’s about getting all the chicken off the bone.”

Bob Newhart builds “escape hatches,” he says. “If I get past the first bail-out point and the routine is still working, I go to the next.” Paul F. Tompkins says, “I let the actual phrasing of the idea come to me onstage, to keep it as conversational as possible.”

"Escape hatch" = good way to put that. Those extra tags can sing if the crowd's up for it. But if not, you're best off bailing while you still got 'em a little bit. Can totally see how Newhart would need some exit points in his one-sided phone call routines.

Hardwick also advises, "Never analyze comedy in public. It makes you look like a douche." I agree. This whole blog is one giant exercise in me looking like a douche.

Over at his Nerdist.com blog, Hardwick mentions the toughest thing for him about the piece.

The toughest thing for me with this piece was allowing my stand-up notebook to be photographed. A comic’s notebook is half Tome of Spells and half diary, but like a child’s drawing it only makes sense to the artist. I always fear that if I leave it in a hotel room, whoever finds it is going to misinterpret its disparate ramblings as those of a serial killer’s (I have the words “Grandpa Soapy Handjob” sloppily written down. I have no idea what it means.). I would almost rather have had my penis photographed than my notebook. I think the below picture is the comic’s equivalent to that first Playboy shoot for a corn-fed Midwestern girl–I’m allowing the world to see my soul’s tits.

Here's the shot of his notebook:



Here's a page from my current notebook. I usually keep set lists/stuff to try at shows on the left side and random ideas on the right.

Announcing The 3rd Annual Schtick Or Treat (WED 10/27 at Arlene's Grocery)

Matt Ruby And Mark Normand present
The 3rd Annual Schtick Or Treat
A pre-Halloween show of comedy “legends”



Wed Oct 27 - Arlene’s Grocery
Doors: 7pm, showtime: 7:30pm sharp
Tickets: $8
95 Stanton Street (btwn Ludlow/Orchard), NYC
Map
Facebook invite

Here we go again! The idea: It's a quick turnover night where 30+ NYC comics get up to three minutes to do a set as a famous comic...and then it's on to the next performer. Standing room only two years in a row – def one of the funnest shows to watch.

Featuring:
Mark Normand as Norm Macdonald
Matt Ruby as Andrew Dice Clay
RG Daniels as Bill Burr
Matt McCarthy as Bill Hicks
Meg Cuppernall as Brett Butler
Adam Cozens as Brody Stevens
Selena Coppock as Kathy Griffin
Luke Cunningham as Chevy Chase
Chelsea White as David Letterman
John Knefel as David Sedaris
Alex Grubard as Doug Stanhope
George Gordon as Eddie Murphy
Jason Saenz as Freddie Prinze
Dan Cartwright as George Carlin
Ray Marshall as George Lopez
Miguel Dalmau as Hannibal Buress
Dan St Germain as Jake Lamotta
Laura Prangley as Joan Rivers
Rojo Perez as Katt Williams
Luke Thayer as Kyle Cease
Jay Welch as Kyle Kinane
Erik Bergstrom as Lisa Lampanelli
Andy Haynes as Louie Anderson
Josh Guarino as Mitch Hedberg
Sam Morril as Nick DiPaolo
Danny Solomon as Patton Oswalt
James Harris as Paul F. Tompkins
Kara Klenk as Paula Poundstone
Abbi Crutchfield as Robert Schimmel
Dan Soder as Rodney Dangerfield
Sean O'Connor as Russell Brand
Jared Logan as Soupy Sales
Eliot Glazer as Steve Harvey
David Cope as Steven Wright
Nick Turner and Ariel Bitran as Tenacious D
Adam Newman as The Amazing Johnathan
Robert Dean as Tony Clifton
Mike Lawrence as Weird Al Yankovic
Jamie Lee as Wendy Liebman
Zach Broussard as Harland Williams
...and more!

Highlights from last year's Schtick:

A producer's manifesto: "The same way a comedian brings his/her material to life, I bring life to a show"

R.G. Daniels puts on one of my fave shows to do (Sunday Night Standup at Three of Cups). And now he's got a new show called MOTHAF*@%!N' COMEDY. He wrote a kinda producer's manifesto to announce the first one (Oct 26).

I am a producer. I am constantly asked what it is I do. I'll tell you: Much the same way a comedian brings his/her material to life, I bring life to a show. To me, stand-up is about the experience for both performer and audience. It's about somebody who may or may not be familiar with the live comedy experience going to a show and walking out thinking, "That was fuckin' awesome." It's about a comedian getting booked and realizing why he/she decided to get into comedy in the first place. I feel that recently this ideology has gotten away from a lot of people.

The last thing comedy needs are new audiences getting turned off to stand-up based on a negative experience. Expensive admission. Shitty drinks. Disgruntled staff. It's not fair to the audience and it sure as hell isn't fair to the performer to feel as if they don't wanna be there. Conversely, I don't think it's fair to prop up an amp, plug in a mic, and announce to an unsuspecting bar that it's Comedy Night. This is as equally off-putting as the term "alternative comedy".

Related: If show producers told the truth, it'd sound like this...

Hot Soup with Shillue and Derosa on Friday

FRI (10/8): HOT SOUP
8:00pm - Free
O'Hanlon's Bar - 349 E 14th St between 1st and 2nd Ave.

Tom Shillue
Joe DeRosa
Nikki Glaser
Brent Sullivan
Noah Berkowitz

Andy's hosting, I'm doing a spot.

Check out who dropped in last week:



Other upcoming shows:
10/16 - We're All Friends Here @ The Creek (LIC)
10/27 - 3rd Annual Schtick or Treat @ Arlene's Grocery (NYC)

Gawker.TV features my "I Need Laughs" documentary

If you've just found this site due to the Gawker.TV piece: Welcome! If ya dig what ya see, subscribe to the site or my email list to stay in touch.

"I Need Laughs," the documentary I made about performing comedy in NYC, is featured at Gawker.TV today.

Filmed in a conspiratorial style, with low contrast, shrouded profiles, and the documentarian's face either obscured by darkness or cut off altogether in many of his solo confessional scenes, I Need Laughs blurs the line of demarcation separating performer and audience. Performance scenes shot from the backs of rooms, flanked by silhouetted audience members or from behind half-empty glasses of booze give the viewer a sense of being let in on a secret.

(Btw, R.G. Daniels once described it to me as the Serpico-ish version of Seinfeld's "Comedian." Sounds about right.)



The post also includes some kind words about this here blog too. Big thanks to Rebecca V. O'Neal for the nice writeup.

Pacific NW: Canucks, Caesars, Greyhound, Paseo, etc.

From my Twitter feed:

Headed to BC, Canada. My hotel better have rose petal turn down or I will crack some Canuck heads!
12:19 PM Sep 24th

Amazing crowd at Hecklers in Victoria BC last night. (yes, they know it's a bad name.) pic of Paul Bea headlining: http://yfrog.com/ne5txisj
5:41 PM Sep 25th



Western Canada, kudos on your Caesar drink. Clamato! Who knew!?
4:22 AM Sep 27th

Bah. Priceline put me at the Ramadan Inn. Now I need to fast for a month!
3:44 PM Sep 27th

Suggested slogan for this Vancouver pub: "To dine by your side, oh the privilege, the pleasure, is mine." http://yfrog.com/j7u62uj
7:15 PM Sep 27th



I find this Vancouver Police Department tagline VERY questionable. Why not "VPD: We are usually unavailable"?! http://yfrog.com/0rjincoj
7:31 PM Sep 27th



Japanese restaurant in Vancouver is playing a bombastic *brass band* version of YMCA. Sounds like some sort of gay national anthem.
10:30 PM Sep 27th

Every single person in Vancouver told me to avoid E. Hastings St. Either it's filled with crackheads or that's where they're killing Jews.
10:36 PM Sep 27th

On the bus to SEA. I get why they call it Greyhound. It's the only dog that's been abused as much as Greyhound passengers.
11:49 AM Sep 28th

At Comedy Underground in Seattle tonight. Here's a shot of last night's show in Vancouver at The Kingston: http://yfrog.com/eiw3tj
8:16 PM Sep 28th



Beer gut? Check. Fanny pack? Check. Stars 'n stripes shorts? Check. America, meet your new Uncle Sam! http://yfrog.com/n8uuzuj
2:03 PM Sep 29th



Seattle Hot Soup reunion! Got introduced to Paseo by @andyhaynesed. Now considering changing name of show to Fish Sandwich.
5:42 PM Sep 29th

Back in NYC. Great time in Seattle last week. Sets all wkend at Comedy Underground. Pic of @drewbarth onstage: http://yfrog.com/4bjnraj
11:21 AM Oct 5th

The two most annoying questions you hear as a comic

1) What is your comedy about?
2) Can you tell me a joke?

I love how Giraldo answers that first one here.

Jokes.com
Greg Giraldo - Interview
comedians.comedycentral.com
Big Lake A New Comedy from Will Ferrell and Adam McKay It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

As for the "Can you tell me a joke?" question, my usual answer is no. If they insist, I go with: "What did the 0 say to the 8? Nice belt."

The alternative is me explaining why comedy requires an audience and that if I tell a joke here in a 1-on-1 situation it's not going to work because...blah blah blah. And then I go back to the 0/8 thing and just let them think I'm a moron.

The first time I saw Greg Giraldo

One of the greatest standup performances I've ever seen in my life was Greg Giraldo years ago at Crash Test at UCB (before I ever started doing standup).

A lot of the alt guys who performed on Crash Test were alt-y and got by with being clever. Giraldo was on a different plane.

He came out like a tornado. Stalking all over the stage, full of venom. He was really fucking smart. He was talking about important things. It wasn't setup/punch and then setup/punch. You couldn't even tell where one joke ended and another began. It all flowed together seamlessly. He was angry and right and hilarious and didn't give a fuck. It didn't seem preplanned or scripted. The words just seemed to tumble out of his mouth in perfect order. I was a comedy naif at the time, but I remember feeling that it was downright shamanic. He just pummeled the crowd.

This was right after I moved to NYC and I'd only just begun to watch live standup regularly. And that Giraldo set, along with a Patton Oswalt set I saw at Rififi right around the same time, opened my eyes up to the power and magic that live standup can deliver. There was something mystical about it. I was entranced. And that's when I decided I wanted to try it too.

When I think about Greg Giraldo, that set is what I'll always remember. I'm thankful I was in the room that night and grateful for the impact it had on my life.

Is the performance mentality a recipe for disaster?

Matteson Perry sent me an email:

Dan Kennedy tweeted this article (How To Make A Living Playing Music: By Danny Barnes) and said "replace musician with writer". Also works if you replace "musician" with "comedian".

The article is a good read. And I thought this part was interesting...

i. avoid the performance mentality. i know this sounds ridiculous in a performance based industry. but think about this. here is a recipe for disaster.
my value = my performance + other people’s opinions. 
the reason why, is that someday, you are going to have an off day and/or someone is going to criticize you. if you put your value in the world like that, you are going to have a bad time of it. i speak from experience. i only learned this at the age of 46. finding my true value fixed this for me. [write me if you want to know what it is.] but establish your value outside of how well you did on the gig and what the papers said about you. otherwise you are going to be miserable and you are going to make everyone else miserable. somedays you play better than others. this doesn’t make you a great person. somedays you make lots of errors, this doesn’t make you a bad person.

...especially after watching Jon Stewart talk about people's reactions — "the reaction is not necessarily the barometer of the quality of something" — in this part of his Oprah interview.



If something is out of your control, don't worry about it. And that's why it's better to focus on process than results. Seems pretty Zen.

But then there's a little voice in the back of my head that keeps saying comedy is all about results. If they're not laughing, you're not doing your job.

Seattle shows this week at Comedy Underground and Parlor Live

Had a great time up in Victoria and Vancouver in BC. Check my Twitter for details. I'm now in Seattle so come on out and say hey if you're in the area...

TUE 9/28 - 8:30pm - Seattle Comedy Underground
THU 9/30 - 9:30pm - Parlor Live Comedy Club (cancelled)
THU 9/30 - 9pm - Thurst Lounge (Seattle)
FRI 10/1 - 8:30pm - Seattle Comedy Underground
FRI 10/1 - 10:30pm - Seattle Comedy Underground
SAT 10/2 - 8:30pm - Tacoma Comedy Underground
SAT 10/2 - 10:30pm - Tacoma Comedy Underground
SUN 10/3 - TBD

Light years/beers

It's odd that a light year is actually a unit of distance. Like we say, "That star is 1 million light years away." We're measuring distance with time.

But we never measure time with distance. If we did...

1) 1 light year is equal to 5,878,630,000,000 miles.
2) That means each mile is 0.00000000000017 of a light year.
3) So if someone asked you how old you are, you could respond "I am 0.0000000000051 miles of light old."

And then imagine if we combined light years with dog years somehow. Time would get old really fast. Or what if we combined light years with Miller Lite? Then you'd have Miller Lite Years – where time would just taste like water.

Boy, this light stuff is getting heavy.

9/24 Hot Soup with Finnegan, McCullough

HOT SOUP!!! on Friday:

Hot Soup is a FREE weekly standup comedy showcase every Friday in the East Village. Doors at 7:30pm and showtime at 8pm. It's produced by David Cope, Andy Haynes, Mark Normand, and Matt Ruby.

These are the jews we got this week:

Matt Donaher
Phil Hanley
Christian Finnegan
Jessie Geller
Julian McCullough

and of course the boo off!

Soups on...

I'll be in BC. You kids have fun.

Larry David vs. the ocean

A while back I wrote about how the side of the majority isn't funny.

I'd much rather hear you defend something horrible. Or something that everyone is on the other side of.

For example, everyone loves going to the beach. That's why it's funny when Larry David hates it.



He also hates the feeling of sand in his sneakers.

Tangent: Every time an episode of Curb ends, I find myself saying aloud, "Oh, Larry."

Questions from a college kid who wants to do standup

A reader writes:

I'm a senior in college and over the past six months I've been considering becoming a standup comic following my expected graduation in May...I go to school in a city in Mississippi without any form of standup comedy scene. Thus, I have very limited standup experience. I perform at an annual comedy show at my college, and that's it in terms of my standup experience. Also, I'm planning on making a trip to NYC for this year's fall break, so as to experience the NYC standup scene, gauge my own abilities, and also visit a friend who lives there. Below are some questions I have regarding standup comedy, particularly as they pertain to my situation.

My fall break is Oct. 14-Oct. 17. Assuming I'm in NYC on those dates, will I have an opportunity to perform standup?
Yes.

As an outsider I assume my performances would be limited to open mics only?
You're right.

Also, could you recommend some venues for me to perform at?
Slava's mic list is a good place to start. Identity Bar on Thursday and Woodshed on Saturday are two good ones in your date range.

Could you also provide some information I should know about performing standup comedy in NYC, such as what attire is appropriate, what length my act is limited to, etc.?
Wear whatever you want. If you have something unusual, people will make fun of it. But secretly, many of them are just too scared to wear something their friends would never wear. So don't sweat it. Anyway, there are lots of other things that are more important. Like what cologne you wear.

Your act will be 5 minutes (or less).

Could you explain what it's like when you're first starting out?
It's easy at first. And then it gets hard. For some reason, people tend to be funnier the first time they do standup than the 20th. That's when you really start to realize just how tough it is.

In regards to the launch of one's stand up career, do you have any tips?
Try out different stuff. Don't fall into the funnel of what everyone else is doing. Perform a lot. Edit, edit, edit. Get to the point and get out. Read/listen to interviews I've linked to with pro comics at this site. Watch lots of standup too.

Realize you're going to suck for a while. Be delusional about being better than you are so audiences think you're confident. But still, be humble in the back of your mind and know there's miles of hard work to go if you wanna get good.

And also live a life that's interesting so you become an interesting person with interesting points of view that will be interesting to others onstage.

From what I have gathered, it typically takes about one year of performing stand-up comedy in order to get paid. Is there any possible way to reduce that length, other than of course increasing the funnyness of the act?
One year? Good luck with that. In NYC it takes a lot longer (if ever) to make a living as a comic. But I guess you could go the angle of appealing to one specific demographic (college crowds, urban crowds, gay crowds, or whatever – maybe you should be a gay urban college comic!) and that would make you more marketable in your race to get paid. Really, I'd advise not worrying about getting paid right now. Get a job that doesn't suck and lets you do standup at night.

Do you have any general advice for me, perhaps based upon things that you have learned over the years or mistakes you made as a standup comic?
Most of what I've learned is here in this blog's archives. Start with the best of posts and work back from there if you really want to get into it.

Can you provide me with any details about the profession that I probably don't know that I should know?
Do it because you love it. Otherwise, it ain't worth it.

What are your thoughts on NYC as my post-graduation residence? Is it better than any alternative (ex. LA)?
I say yes. Move to LA if you've got something lined up. I think NYC is a better place to get good.

But you're prob even better off spending a few years in a city that's cheaper and has more stage time. Chicago, Boston, Atlanta, Seattle, Portland, DC, Austin, and SF all come to mind. Do a few years there and then you can see if you're ready for a bigger city.

What are the difficulties associated with having a fulltime job while also pursuing a career as a standup comedian?
You need to stay up late and be out all the time. That can get in the way of, well, pretty much everything else in your life.

A joke goes from Ochi's to Letterman

RIP Ochi's Lounge (the downstairs room at Comix). I've probably performed on that stage more than anywhere else in NYC so sad to see it go. Christian Finnegan wrote a nice obit for it: "A few words about Ochi's Lounge, wacky ideas and the people who make other people happen."

Ochi's Lounge now exists in the formative memories of a whole generation of New York City comedians. You will turn on Letterman and see comedians tell jokes that were spoken for the very first time on that stupid little mini-stage in the basement. In fact, I'm sure that's already happened. One of Ochi's many producers will one day have his or her own major television show--that's not a prediction, it's an inevitability. And for years to come, comedians will gather at bars or in TV writer's rooms or on movie sets and laugh hysterically about "that one time at Ochi's".

Re: "You will turn on Letterman and see comedians tell jokes that were spoken for the very first time on that stupid little mini-stage in the basement. In fact, I'm sure that's already happened."

It's true. I remember Kumail doing a set at the Ochi's mic a few months after he moved to NYC. He had recently gone to Coney Island and had a new bit about riding The Cyclone. I think it was the first time (or one of the first times) he did it because he was looking at a printout of the jokes he was trying before going onstage.

Cut to a year or two later. Kumail's on Letterman. 3:50 in is the Cyclone bit ("scariest experience of my life...and I grew up in Pakistan").



I'm still mystified why Paul thought "Born in the U.S.A." was the right song to play.

CB Radio podcast with Jared Logan and me

CB Radio is a comedy podcast run by Cameron Buchholtz, a comedian from Austin, Texas (prev guests include Todd Barry, Paul F. Tompkins, Kyle Kinane, and more). He was in town recently and the result is...

Episode 42 - Matt Ruby & Jared Logan (link to iTunes)

We talk about why daylight is the enemy of comedy, this blog, and get in a tussle over whether or not you need to watch TV to be a good comic.

Upcoming shows: CSL, Hot Soup, Too Cool, Castlebraid, Seattle, & Vancouver

I have four shows in NYC that are some of my fave shows to do in the city (they're all free) and then I'm off to the Pacific Northwest to do shows and be around trees.

THU 9/16 - CSL @ Kabin - 9pm
92 2nd Ave (btwn 5th & 6th St) in NYC

FRI 9/17 - Hot Soup @ O'Hanlons - 8pm
349 E 14th St (btwn 1st and 2nd Ave) in NYC

This week features: Glenn Wool, Molly Knefel, Giulia Rozzi, and Kevin Barnett. I'm going up early and then hopping on the train to go to...

FRI 9/17 - Too Cool For School @ Red Star - 8pm
37 Greenpoint Ave (at West St) in Greenpoint

(Let's just hope the L train doesn't have a power outage or dead body on the tracks or some other gruesome failure to deal with. What the hell do you Wburg/Bushwick people do to the subway lines over there? If it is somehow "ironic," I DO NOT get it!)

WED 9/22 - Castlebraid Comedy Festival @ Castlebraid - 8pm
Rooftop show
114 Troutman St. in Bushwick
Details

West Coast Dates
9/24 - 8:00pm - VICTORIA, BC: Hecklers Comedy Club
9/26 - 8:00pm - VANCOUVER, BC: Deuce Bungalow
9/27 - 9:00pm - VANCOUVER, BC: The Kingston
9/28 - 8:30pm - SEATTLE: Comedy Underground
9/30 - 9:30pm - SEATTLE: Parlor Live Comedy Club

Religion and fortune cookies

Woody Allen in a recent interview:

“To me,” Mr. Allen said, “there’s no real difference between a fortune teller or a fortune cookie and any of the organized religions. They’re all equally valid or invalid, really. And equally helpful.”

Bill Maher discusses religion on Leno:



And a clip from the last Louie about religion:



Funny? Not really. But I think that scene is fucking beautiful.

And I love how comedians are the only ones who manage to say stuff like this yet still hold down a regular TV gig. OK, cable slots at 11pm...but still.

Also not funny but interesting: Confessions of a Lonely Atheist. It's a great piece from a few years back about religion in America.

When asked in 1999 whether they would consider voting for a woman for president, 92 percent of Americans said yes, up from 76 percent in 1978; 95 percent of respondents would vote for a black, a gain of 22 points since 1978; Jews were up to 92 percent from 82 in the votability index; even homosexuals have soared in popularity, acceptable presidential fodder to 59 percent of Americans today, compared with 26 percent in 1978. But atheists, well, there's no saving them. Of all the categories in this particular Gallup poll, they scraped bottom, considered worthy candidates by only 49 percent of Americans, a gain of a mere 9 percent since 1978. "Throughout American history, there's been this belief that our country has a covenant with God and that a deity watches over America," says Michael Cromartie, vice president of the Ethics and Public Policy Center in Washington. Atheism, in other words, is practically unpatriotic.

Gay Black Jewish woman for President? America: "Sure!" How about an atheist? "Hell no!"

USA!

Ray Combs, Jr. makes mics interesting

That was Saturday at the Woodshed mic. Yes, Ray showed his dick. Also, he dropped the n-word repeatedly. Yelled at the only audience members too. Called people gay and bad comics and (mock) hit on girls too. Did big chunks of time between comics. Got choked after the show by a black guy who didn't like the n-word stuff. Yes, choked. Also, he made it almost impossible for any comic to actually do material.

Just a normal mic hosting session by Ray Combs, Jr. Say what you want about his technique, but he manages to do something really hard: He makes NYC open mics fun. Mean as shit, but fun.

He doesn't give a fuck about "making it." He's trying to get to something real instead of honing a tight 5 or trying to get on TV (there's a little self-sabotage at work too). The twist is how he takes that attitude and then challenges all the comedians in the room too. On Saturday, he said something like: "You all say you like Louis CK so much but then you get up here and you do the same stupid jokes that are nothing at all like what Louis CK does."

After Ray does his thing, telling little, clever jokes seems like a cop out. He creates an environment where you have to bring something real or authentic or honest or else you're doomed. It's a shitty place to try out certain kinds of jokes. But it's a good way to try to get to something more genuine in your act. There are so many comics who are just really unfunny when doing jokes. But when they drop that bullshit and start just talking it's at least interesting — and usually winds up funnier anyway. For me, that's the real magic of what Ray does at mics.

Portrait of a Comedian Episode 28 with Ray is a good look at his style and why he is that way. So is the episode of We're All Friends Here that he was on. And he sometimes hosts the mic at The Village Lantern on Wednedays. Really, it's something you need to see live to appreciate.

FYI, since he sometimes talks about his dad in his act, it's interesting to see Ray Sr. doing his act on Carson:

The truth about 9/11 conspiracy theorists

Recently, I did a show where I said I do not believe 9/11 was an inside job. Apparently that's a controversial opinion in Long Island City. Here was the scene after the show:

Four guys circle around me telling me how naive I am. "There's no way Tower #7 could have fallen that way on it's own! You gotta look at who benefited from 9/11. Don't be so naive!"

I look at these four guys carefully. Hmm. How come the only people who know the truth about 9/11 are unemployed soundmen? Why's that part of it? Why do I need to have a wallet chain and really good weed to know it was some kind of false flag operation? And what the hell is a false flag operation?

Then I realized what else these four had in common. Apparently the secrets to 9/11 are being revealed at Wrestlemania. I should have known Vince McMahon's got the inside scoop.

My favorite part is the "You gotta look at who benefited from 9/11. Don't be so naive!" Listen, just because someone benefits from something, doesn't mean they CAUSED it. I can benefit from dating a girl with low self-esteem, that doesn't prove I'm her father.

It's also weird to me that conspiracy theorists tend to be so opposed to religion. Because conspiracy theories are their religion. There's still a higher power running the show, it's just a slightly different version.

"Those morons actually think some guy with a beard and a robe is up in the sky controlling everything! Ridiculous!! 'Cuz clearly it's a cabal of the Defense Department, Halliburton, and the Jews."

As H.L. Mencken once said, "The central belief of every moron is that he is the victim of a mysterious conspiracy." But wait, did Mencken REALLY say that? That's probably exactly what The Illuminati want us to think!

9/11 We're All Friends Here and more upcoming shows

Tonight (Thu) I'll be at Topaz in DC.

Tomorrow night (Fri) is Hot Soup (details at Facebook) with the following lineup:

Helen Hong
Danny Solomon
Julian McCullough
Roger Hailes

Cope's hosting, Mark's doing a spot, I'm resting, and Andy's in Seattle after his big Fallon spot last night. Watch it below.

Saturday is the special 9/11 edition of We're All Friends Here at The Creek in LIC. Here's Mark's writeup from Facebook:

Woooeee! We're back for another installment of the chat show with boundary issues. It's 9/11 so we are having our sad show. You are not gonna want to miss this one, Tom might actually cry. So come out and support your country at We're All Friends Here.

This month we've got:

Tom Sibley - Sob Story
Jonathan Powley - Asian loving weirdo
Calise Hawkins - Asha

This is gonna be a doozy!!!

Next week I'll be at Joe Schmoe at Hog Pit (Mon), CSL at Kabin (Thu), Hot Soup at O'Hanlons (Fri), and Too Cool for School at Red Star (Fri). Details on those and other future shows here.

Funny folks I like doing Fallon, Comix, and touring the south

Lookie here: My Hot Soup cohort Andy Haynes will be on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon tonight!



The also very funny duo of Mike Lawrence and Dan St. Germain will be co-headlining Comix on Sept. 16. Here's the Facebook invite. Sean Donnelly will be hosting with Mike Recine featuring. Use the promo code MLDS and get five dollars off the ticket price.



Sean Patton, Nate Bargatze, Jarrod Harris and Rory Scovel have embarked on The Southern Comedy Quartet Tour. These guys are all terrific. If you're in any of the following cities, check 'em out:

September 9th, 2010 - Aiken Brewing Co. - Aiken, SC. (9PM)
September 10th-11th, 2010 - Theatre 99 - Charleston, SC. (10PM)
September 13th, 2010 - Buffinton's - Milledgeville, GA. (10PM)
September 15th, 2010 - Warren City Club - Atlanta, GA. (9PM)
September 16th, 2010 - The 40 Watt - Athens, GA. (9PM)
September 17th-18th, 2010 - Nutt Street - Wilmington, NC. (9PM)
September 21st, 2010 - Tremont Music Hall - Charlotte, NC. (9PM)
September 22nd-25th, 2010 - Stand-Up Carolina - Myrtle Beach, SC. (8PM & 10PM)
September 26th, 2010 - Warehouse Theatre - Washington DC (8PM)
September 27th, 2010 - Whiplash at UCB - New York, NY. (11PM)

It's gonna be a movie too:

Here we find at the point of no return in the stand-up comedy business. They've been performing long enough, they all have television credits and are making just enough money to get by but are still living hand to mouth. The time to turn it off and pursue something else with their lives and careers has passed. The more they push, the more they sacrifice, the more attention they get, the better their odds are of achieving ultimate success in such a cutthroat industry. The heartbreak and stress that exists in such a fun job has never been seen in such an honest light...These four comics truly represent the forefront of the next generation of Southern stand-up comics.

Why do people love to laugh but hate comedy?

NYC → LA transplant Matteson Perry suggested this blog topic in an email:

One of the most interesting things about comedy is the disconnect between how much everyone loves laughing, and how little respect comedy gets on the whole. No one would ever say "I hate laughing" but plenty would say "I hate comedy". The Moth Attracts 150+ people every week in NYC, and the funniest story usually wins and yet it's a struggle to get 30 people to a great stand up show. Mysterious.

Hmm, not sure it's that mysterious. First of all, there's only a handful of storytelling shows compared to the dozens of standup shows available every night of the week in NYC. So I can see how supply/demand might favor storytelling shows.

Also, from what I understand, The Moth is huge. Hit podcast, mentions on This American Life, big name drop-ins, etc. I'm sure there are storytelling shows that struggle to get attendees too, right?

As for people who "hate" comedy, I think people hate certain things about live comedy. First of all, it forces you to pay attention. At a bad rock show, you can talk to a friend or hang in the back and tune out. Comedy demands 100% rapt attention. And that's why it's so grating when it's bad. You're trapped in a painful performance prison. (A bad play is also an awful experience. John Mulaney has a great bit about that.)

Also, I'm reminded of something a civilian friend told me about a visit to a comedy club. He went with his girlfriend and the person seating audience wanted to sit him and his gal in the front. He asked not to be seated there. He said he didn't want to have any interaction with the comics, he just wanted to watch the show. The person seating him told him not to worry, it wouldn't be a problem.

Sure enough, the first comic comes out and starts fucking with him and his gal. He hangs in for a minute, but the comic keeps it up so he gets up and walks out.

He's mentioned it a couple of times to me. It really pissed him off and he felt lied to and doesn't want to go to another comedy show. He doesn't discern between club and alt shows. He just thinks comedy shows involve that kinda assholery and he doesn't feel like dealing with it. And I understand that.

From a comedian's perspective, it's always painful to be at a show where everyone sits in the back and leaves the front rows open (I often open up in a room like that by calling it "the prevent defense" of crowd formations). But y'know what? I think those people are smart to avoid the front. I never want to sit at the front of a comedy show either. Seems like there's some sort of fundamental problem when the best seats in the house are the last place people want to sit.

"I've got chunks of guys like you in my stool"

A 1990 letter from Frank Sinatra.



Sounds just like Phil Hartman doing Sinatra.

Scovel and Jost on Friday's Hot Soup

Hot Soup on Friday (9/3) features:
Rory Scovel (Comedy Central)
Colin Jost (SNL)
Louis Katz (Comedy Central)
Dan Wilbur (College Humor)
Alex Grubard (Sirius)

I'll be hosting.

8:00pm showtime
Free
O'Hanlon's Bar - 349 E 14th St between 1st and 2nd Ave.

Next week I'll be in DC and then hosting the 9/11 edition of We're All Friends Here. Upcoming shows:

Wed Sep 8 - 8pm - Ha Ha @ RiRa (Alexandria, VA)
Thu Sep 9 - 8pm - The Laughing Buddha-ha-ha @ Topaz (DC)
Fri Sep 10 - 8pm - Hot Soup @ O'Hanlon's (NYC)
Sat Sep 11 - 8pm - We're All Friends Here @ The Creek (LIC)

Marinating in the cesspool

This happened months ago: I'm at a "booked" show that's really more of a good mic since almost everyone in the room is a comic. It's fun. Then one of the guys in the room gets onstage and starts listing off the names of all the female comedians in the room he's masturbated to.

It's supposed to be funny. But instead feels creepy. Very creepy. The air leaves the room.

Wish I could say that kinda thing is a rarity but it ain't. A normal scene at a shitty show/mic: It's in the dark basement of a bar. The ratio is way more guys than girls. Some dude gets up who is either bitter, creepy, or just doesn't get it and he starts spitting out misogynistic shit. Bitch this, cunt that. Unfunny jokes about rape, hos, cock, etc. And then people don't laugh and he gets mad at them for "being a shitty audience." Later on, same guy feels the need to point out that "girls aren't funny."

Now I realize I'm no perfect angel here, either. I talk about girls negatively at times. But I talk about everyone negatively at times. And I try to at least maintain a sense of self-awareness that it's very easy to come off like a prick when you go down that path. I think a good test to keep in mind: Would you tell that same joke if your sister/mom/girlfriend was in the crowd?

A thing I've heard before: The smartest people in this country almost never run for President. What sane person would put themselves through that process? I wonder if there's a parallel here. Maybe a lot of girls who are smart enough to be good at standup are also smart enough to not want to marinate in the cesspool environment that's part of the standup scene and instead decide to go into improv — or forget about performing comedy entirely.